hopefully hired.

i'm being a little presumptive.

but i do have an interview ****fingers crossed!**** Thursday at 3:30.......

i'm so tired of waiting tables that i just want to scream!

i could rant right now, but i'm trying to focus my energy on the positive thoughts about this interview!


i'm going to take the interview before i go into details about what the job is, but know this, if i get it, i won't be working for tips!


will post again soon!

a little affirmation

so the last time that i wrote about my unmarried papers, i was wrong in assuming that those were the 'last' papers. it turns out that i had to sign one more set of papers, supposedly the LAST ones.

i took it to the Kinko's so i could make copies of them before sending them away, and i also needed to send a fax. i stepped up to the counter and handed the man my papers, i said that i needed just one copy, and that they were legal papers so i'd need to make sure they didn't get out of order.

he smiled and helped me make the copies. then he smiled and helped me send the fax.

his manager walked over at just about the time i was finishing up the fax and he asked me how i was doing.

i told him i was doing great! that i had just finalized my divorce and that freedom was soon on its way!

he smiled and said that he was glad that i was glad and he hoped i had an excellent day.

i asked how much i owed him for the copies and fax, and he said again, have an excellent day.


he didn't charge me.


even though it was just a small amount of money that he saved me, it was really really nice of them to encourage me and to tell me to have an excellent day.


i guess it's karma!

soliciting support

i finished Chapter 3 today: "There's Something I Have To Tell You..." Sharing Your News and Getting the Support You Need From Friends, Family and Work.

it was really hard to read over the tears that welled up in my eyes as i read the chapter. i knew it'd be tough, mainly because i'm going through a very lonely time in my life. oh yes, i am surrounded by people, the restaurant keeps me busy, living in the second highest populated city in North Carolina, i am definitely in no shortage for people. but i haven't been getting the support i need. i haven't had people asking me how i'm doing, or if they've asked, it's only a superficial question. no one offers a shoulder for me to cry on or an ear to talk to, with the sole EXCEPTION of Carla. no one calls, no one emails, and the only mail that comes are the bills, that i am currently unable to pay. my only incoming calls are from Carla.

all that to say, that the following lines inspired me:

If you are like [the authors] Kay and Sarah, you might have trouble asking for help, so allow yourself to be more demanding during this time. If people don't know how to be there for you, then give them ideas.
...People who love you will often do extraordinary things if you just give them the opportunity.

so, i decided that i am going to do just what i've been needing to do for quite a while. i need to email my friends and family and solicit their support. not one of them knows how often i cry myself to sleep. not one of them knows how lonely it is for me to be home alone for hours on end with only a kitten to comfort me. just once i'd like to have someone surprise me, with anything, something out of the ordinary. my birthday is in just over a month, and honestly, i'm already disappointed.

i'm emailing them tonight.

i'll keep you posted on the response that i get, if any.

-lisa-

standing at a crossroads

i don't want to work at the restaurant anymore. i can't take it. i want to help with the flood relief in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, but i can't afford to just up and go out there. i want to be making a difference, i want to be paid to live my life and not begging for hours to get tips from people.

but i keep standing back, looking at my life, asking, seriously, "what does God want me to be learning from my life right now?"

WHAT does He want me to be learning?

what direction am i going in?

what am i supposed to do?


being at a crossroads means that i feel like my feet are confused, they don't know which way to point, which in turn gives me rubber knees and that awful shaky wobbly leg feeling.

WHAT?!

still reading

still reading that book. it's totally awesome. still highly recommend it for you to read.


now i'm just juggling feelings of being overwhelmed..... i gotta find a job.


........................



bluh.