yep.
i hated the job, and i knew it wouldn't be long before i needed to find another line of work in order to actually look forward to going to work everyday, but they pulled the trigger before i was able to find something else.
now i am back at the restaurant for lunch and dinner shifts.
what now?
Showing posts with label snafus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snafus. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
not looking forward
i am not really looking forward to visiting my dad and/or the prospect of him asking me if he can bring her along.
no dad, i don't want to include her in my visit with you. it isn't okay with me if she comes along, because honestly even if she wasn't the entire reason for you and mom getting a divorce, there is no part of me that will embrace her as your new love interest, no matter how happy she makes you.
i wish i were a "bigger" person, but right now, i just can't stand the thought of you being with her. i'd be fine if you were single and living alone, which is what i usually envision when i talk to you, but no, you're with her. you've been with her since you were still with mom. her kids see you more than i do and somehow i am supposed to be like "hey, glad you helped break up my parents marriage, but i sure am glad you make my dad happy."
boo.
no dad, i don't want to include her in my visit with you. it isn't okay with me if she comes along, because honestly even if she wasn't the entire reason for you and mom getting a divorce, there is no part of me that will embrace her as your new love interest, no matter how happy she makes you.
i wish i were a "bigger" person, but right now, i just can't stand the thought of you being with her. i'd be fine if you were single and living alone, which is what i usually envision when i talk to you, but no, you're with her. you've been with her since you were still with mom. her kids see you more than i do and somehow i am supposed to be like "hey, glad you helped break up my parents marriage, but i sure am glad you make my dad happy."
boo.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
fish on a bicycle
This Fish Needs a Bicycle
if you haven't heard of her already, then i think you should check her out. all i know is that her name is Heather and she lives in Texas. She is single and while she embraces it, she is also very candid about what being single really means to a girl in today's world.
i bookmarked her blog a long time ago, i read it from time to time.
the entry that she posted yesterday made my heart stop. i think we have all been there in one way or another. i'm going to link to her blog and i am going to include her post in it's entirety.
-----------------
do share what you think...
if you haven't heard of her already, then i think you should check her out. all i know is that her name is Heather and she lives in Texas. She is single and while she embraces it, she is also very candid about what being single really means to a girl in today's world.
i bookmarked her blog a long time ago, i read it from time to time.
the entry that she posted yesterday made my heart stop. i think we have all been there in one way or another. i'm going to link to her blog and i am going to include her post in it's entirety.
i don't think about you (and other lies i tell myself)
It wasn't you that I saw, standing tall and rail-straight, just on the other side of the jewelry counter. But it didn't matter; it may as well have been, with the way I felt the room lurch and spin. I dug my nails under the polished metal rim of the counter and ducked my head, not wanting to make eye contact with you. My fingertips left steamy smears on the cold, clean glass.
I pretended to care about tacky heart-shaped pendants, knowing I should look up, say hello and feign that I wasn't all at once stumbling drunk with missing you. I thought about what it might do to me to hug you. I remembered how, if there was anything unsatisfying about touching you, it was that you never left your scent behind. You didn't stay on my clothes or my sofa cushions - the only evidence you'd ever been at home with me, an emptied wine glass next to my own.
I swallowed your memory, pushing it down into my uneasy stomach and finally looked up. But like I said, it wasn't you. Too old, too wide about the shoulders, too not you. So I rang for the sales clerk, finished my business and drove home slowly, feeling suddenly lonesome and a little hungover.
I pretended to care about tacky heart-shaped pendants, knowing I should look up, say hello and feign that I wasn't all at once stumbling drunk with missing you. I thought about what it might do to me to hug you. I remembered how, if there was anything unsatisfying about touching you, it was that you never left your scent behind. You didn't stay on my clothes or my sofa cushions - the only evidence you'd ever been at home with me, an emptied wine glass next to my own.
I swallowed your memory, pushing it down into my uneasy stomach and finally looked up. But like I said, it wasn't you. Too old, too wide about the shoulders, too not you. So I rang for the sales clerk, finished my business and drove home slowly, feeling suddenly lonesome and a little hungover.
-----------------
do share what you think...
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
running til you fall down
i have goals for myself, which include running a half marathon sometime in the next year, in addition to training for and running a marathon sometime in the next 3 years.
this being said, i went for a run tonight.
the weather was perfect for a nice early evening run, so i put my hair up, clipped back the hair that would fall down, wore a sports bra, laced up my running shoes, stretched a little inside the house, and finally leapt off of my front step and into my running form.
i was off and running. i had a good pace. i decided to run for at least 15 minutes, and to try and do so without walking.
i went down the street, around the block and when i got back to my starting point, i dared to look at my watch timer:
3:30.
i had only been running for 3 minutes and 30 seconds.
so i circled the same route again, noticing how my pace was slowly declining in speed.
i decided that i would go down a couple of extra streets in my neighborhood in order to make the time pass faster and add in some distance.
i got back to my starting point again, certain that i had just passed the 10 minute mark.
i looked at my watch:
6:30.
how on earth?! what?! okay, keep moving, just run until you feel like it's been 4 more minutes. instead of 15, it's okay if i only did 10. my body was giving me the ole RED FLAG.
i ran some more. i rounded corners, passed people walking their dogs, crossed streets, waved at strangers carrying their groceries inside, and finally, i was back on my street, sure that i'd passed the time and that i had CERTAINLY passed the 10 minute mark and it was now okay for me to go inside and get some water.
as i slowed down to stop, my legs felt extra wobbly, and because i know my body, i knew that if i didn't get inside ASAP i would be likely to cause a scene by passing out in my neighbor's yard.
luckily, my wobbly legs guided me up my front-steps, i successfully opened my front door and got inside just in time to lay face down on the floor of my dining room. i never fully passed out, but i'd say if i hadn't gotten my shoes off and regulated my breathing, i may have just blacked out altogether.
total running time: 12:22. GO ME!
too bad i felt like i was having hot flashes and i was also having flashbacks to the "mile-run" in grade-school......
well, they say baby-steps. i guess 12 minutes compared to a marathon would definitely qualify as baby-steps!
this being said, i went for a run tonight.
the weather was perfect for a nice early evening run, so i put my hair up, clipped back the hair that would fall down, wore a sports bra, laced up my running shoes, stretched a little inside the house, and finally leapt off of my front step and into my running form.
i was off and running. i had a good pace. i decided to run for at least 15 minutes, and to try and do so without walking.
i went down the street, around the block and when i got back to my starting point, i dared to look at my watch timer:
3:30.
i had only been running for 3 minutes and 30 seconds.
so i circled the same route again, noticing how my pace was slowly declining in speed.
i decided that i would go down a couple of extra streets in my neighborhood in order to make the time pass faster and add in some distance.
i got back to my starting point again, certain that i had just passed the 10 minute mark.
i looked at my watch:
6:30.
how on earth?! what?! okay, keep moving, just run until you feel like it's been 4 more minutes. instead of 15, it's okay if i only did 10. my body was giving me the ole RED FLAG.
i ran some more. i rounded corners, passed people walking their dogs, crossed streets, waved at strangers carrying their groceries inside, and finally, i was back on my street, sure that i'd passed the time and that i had CERTAINLY passed the 10 minute mark and it was now okay for me to go inside and get some water.
as i slowed down to stop, my legs felt extra wobbly, and because i know my body, i knew that if i didn't get inside ASAP i would be likely to cause a scene by passing out in my neighbor's yard.
luckily, my wobbly legs guided me up my front-steps, i successfully opened my front door and got inside just in time to lay face down on the floor of my dining room. i never fully passed out, but i'd say if i hadn't gotten my shoes off and regulated my breathing, i may have just blacked out altogether.
total running time: 12:22. GO ME!
too bad i felt like i was having hot flashes and i was also having flashbacks to the "mile-run" in grade-school......
well, they say baby-steps. i guess 12 minutes compared to a marathon would definitely qualify as baby-steps!
Monday, March 3, 2008
reason # 29,347
tonight gave me reason #29,347 that i need to get new glasses once i start my new job (with medical insurance) next week.
if you have a queasy stomach, you should just skip the next paragraph.
i got food poisoning and i had to pull my car over and park it in an empty parking lot. i got out and got in the grass to where no one could see me retching my guts out [sorry for the visual]. well, i go forward a little to ensure that splattering doesn't occur, and my glasses flew off of my face and into my own puke. i had to clean them off while telling myself that grosser things have happened, but i couldn't get over my initial thought of:
totally gross!
the thing is i love my glasses, well, the way that they look on my face anyway. they are very flattering, if i do say so myself. but, the problem is somewhere in the "arms" of the glasses. they don't have any grip, and they aren't curved enough to grab onto my ears if i bend over. thus, they slide off of my face ALL the time. it's very irritating.
reason #21,304 was when i was on an airplane and i was in the plane's bathroom, and i leaned over to get the paper towels and my glasses slid off of my face and almost, ALMOST landed in the swirling blue water that spun in the plane's toilet. thank the LORD i have cat-like reflexes and i caught them as they flew through the air.
this is why i try to wear my contacts 99.9% of the time. my patience with my glasses is just OUT.
thank goodness i have Carla because Carla is an RN and she took care of me all night for the 3 hours that it took for me to feel normalized again. now i'm all better, at least, better enough to write an entry here! :)
if you have a queasy stomach, you should just skip the next paragraph.
i got food poisoning and i had to pull my car over and park it in an empty parking lot. i got out and got in the grass to where no one could see me retching my guts out [sorry for the visual]. well, i go forward a little to ensure that splattering doesn't occur, and my glasses flew off of my face and into my own puke. i had to clean them off while telling myself that grosser things have happened, but i couldn't get over my initial thought of:
totally gross!
the thing is i love my glasses, well, the way that they look on my face anyway. they are very flattering, if i do say so myself. but, the problem is somewhere in the "arms" of the glasses. they don't have any grip, and they aren't curved enough to grab onto my ears if i bend over. thus, they slide off of my face ALL the time. it's very irritating.
reason #21,304 was when i was on an airplane and i was in the plane's bathroom, and i leaned over to get the paper towels and my glasses slid off of my face and almost, ALMOST landed in the swirling blue water that spun in the plane's toilet. thank the LORD i have cat-like reflexes and i caught them as they flew through the air.
this is why i try to wear my contacts 99.9% of the time. my patience with my glasses is just OUT.
thank goodness i have Carla because Carla is an RN and she took care of me all night for the 3 hours that it took for me to feel normalized again. now i'm all better, at least, better enough to write an entry here! :)
Monday, February 4, 2008
the wedding, tidbits, part II
almost 2 weeks ago i promised to write more about the wedding, so i wanted to make sure that i wrote some things down before i forget them all.
let's see:
awkward moments:
it seems like the wedding weekend was full of these, being that nearly all of the bride's side had to drive down and stay in the only hotel in the area. and the hotel had promised each room at $60 a night but when the guests starting arriving, was actually charging $70 a night...so that caused some tension especially when the brides' Godmother accidentally let it slip that "the place wasn't even that nice" in front of the bride...
heartfelt toasts:
i thought i'd share the toast that i wrote for Jeannie and Charles, here it is:
Having known Jeannie since we sat beside each other in our 7th grade typing class, our friendship has proven to stand the test of time.
We were there through the ups: proms, road trips, first dates, graduations. and the downs: heartbreaks, car accidents, stress and exams. and through it all, i saw something that i admired in my friend Jeannie, i saw strength, loyalty and courage to face life's challenges.
and even if i am only one day older, i felt like many times that Jeannie was like an older sister to me, helping me as i helped her.
And so, i stand here on Jeannie and Chuck's wedding day, Jeannie looking radiant, and Charles looking like he just won the lottery, and i say "To the happy couple, i wish you the best of luck, abundant love and joy, and most of all, the wisdom to recognize the blessings that God gives you as you walk together down this road called life."
Jeannie, i love you with all of my heart and you know that you are like a sister to me, so Charles, today, you're getting a bonus sister-in-law, me! Cheers to the happy couple!
temper tantrums/mini-meltdowns:
inappropriate gestures:
apparently one of Charles' uncles is totally drunk 100% of the time, so being at a wedding only coincided with his affinity for drunkenness, which meant that while we were out boogie-ing on the dance floor, this RED-faced, totally drunk OLD uncle walks out on the dance floor and stands behind Jeannie and does the thing where it looks like you're doggy-styling someone. totally unnecessary and totally gross!
European kiss-kissing with a beautiful Portuguese man:
Jeannie is Portuguese, and Jeannie has family that is Portuguese, and these family members include one such fine young gentleman who, upon his departure, grabbed my face and gave me 2 European style kisses on the cheeks. seeing as to how this was the first time a man besides Seth or my Dad had touched my face in months, i promptly melted into a puddle on the floor.
dancing until my feet cramped:
i danced like it was going out of style. i did them all: the Cha Cha Slide, The Charleston, The Electric Slide, and yes, even the YMCA. Why? because at my own wedding i was semi-disappointed when no one danced, and because i was in the wedding, wearing a special green dress (awful alterations and all), i got my butt out there and made some memories!
and my feet definitely cramped up and my toes felt like they were stuck together for a large portion of the 8 hour car ride home. :)
let's see:
awkward moments:
it seems like the wedding weekend was full of these, being that nearly all of the bride's side had to drive down and stay in the only hotel in the area. and the hotel had promised each room at $60 a night but when the guests starting arriving, was actually charging $70 a night...so that caused some tension especially when the brides' Godmother accidentally let it slip that "the place wasn't even that nice" in front of the bride...
heartfelt toasts:
i thought i'd share the toast that i wrote for Jeannie and Charles, here it is:
Having known Jeannie since we sat beside each other in our 7th grade typing class, our friendship has proven to stand the test of time.
We were there through the ups: proms, road trips, first dates, graduations. and the downs: heartbreaks, car accidents, stress and exams. and through it all, i saw something that i admired in my friend Jeannie, i saw strength, loyalty and courage to face life's challenges.
and even if i am only one day older, i felt like many times that Jeannie was like an older sister to me, helping me as i helped her.
And so, i stand here on Jeannie and Chuck's wedding day, Jeannie looking radiant, and Charles looking like he just won the lottery, and i say "To the happy couple, i wish you the best of luck, abundant love and joy, and most of all, the wisdom to recognize the blessings that God gives you as you walk together down this road called life."
Jeannie, i love you with all of my heart and you know that you are like a sister to me, so Charles, today, you're getting a bonus sister-in-law, me! Cheers to the happy couple!
temper tantrums/mini-meltdowns:
i can sum this up by saying only a few things,as i stood there, hearing Jeannie's mother actually call her daughter a bitch in such a matter-of-fact way on her wedding day, i just thought, thank GOD she is not my mother.
1-the bride didn't want any help getting into her dress until she realize that it is hard to get into a dress all alone,
2-we were running 35 minutes late for pictures (the wedding went on time, but the pictures were a little cramped for time),
3-as i tried to help her get the back of her dress laced up, i pinched her skin (unknowingly) into the dress and it really really hurt her before i realized it and let it go,
4-being thoroughly pinched made her a little wound up and she wanted me to let the thing go for a second so she could breathe, but when her mom stepped in and tried to help, she got really mad and was like"just take the dress off!!!",5-her mother says to this: "Jeannie, you don't have to be such a bitch",
6-Jeannie flies out of the room, down the back hallway and into the tiny bathroom and locks the door behind her,
7-i follow close behind,
8-Jeannie's mom follows behind me, her grandmother behind her, and her sister behind her grandmother,
9-gay makeup guy and hair-do lady stand in the living room looking wild-eyed,
10-as we crowd around the bathroom door, Jeannie says for everyone to GO AWAY,
11-i calmly tell her that we have to continue lacing her up if we are going to be on time,
12-the door cracks open, you can tell she's crying, she says "ONLY YOU" and reaches out and grabs my hands and yanks me into the tiny bathroom,
13-i hug her and tell her that it is alright and that everything is going just fine,
14-she tells me she loves me and that she is so glad i am there for her,
15-the dress gets on, it looks great, we touch up the makeup, the wedding is on!
inappropriate gestures:
apparently one of Charles' uncles is totally drunk 100% of the time, so being at a wedding only coincided with his affinity for drunkenness, which meant that while we were out boogie-ing on the dance floor, this RED-faced, totally drunk OLD uncle walks out on the dance floor and stands behind Jeannie and does the thing where it looks like you're doggy-styling someone. totally unnecessary and totally gross!
European kiss-kissing with a beautiful Portuguese man:
Jeannie is Portuguese, and Jeannie has family that is Portuguese, and these family members include one such fine young gentleman who, upon his departure, grabbed my face and gave me 2 European style kisses on the cheeks. seeing as to how this was the first time a man besides Seth or my Dad had touched my face in months, i promptly melted into a puddle on the floor.
dancing until my feet cramped:
i danced like it was going out of style. i did them all: the Cha Cha Slide, The Charleston, The Electric Slide, and yes, even the YMCA. Why? because at my own wedding i was semi-disappointed when no one danced, and because i was in the wedding, wearing a special green dress (awful alterations and all), i got my butt out there and made some memories!
and my feet definitely cramped up and my toes felt like they were stuck together for a large portion of the 8 hour car ride home. :)
Saturday, January 26, 2008
the wedding, tidbits, part I
a lot of my posts have been very lengthy here recently, and it's almost been 1 week since the wedding, so i wanted to post the good bits before they slip away into non-remembrance.
gay makeup guy:
on the morning of the wedding, we got our makeup done by the gayest man i have ever met, Clint, and besides the actual wedding, it was the highlight of my entire day. Clint helped me understand lipstick and foundation and blush (3 things which i am completely alien to-i'm blonde and fair-what color lipstick? - i have problem areas that he told me were simply hormonal and i need to get a sulphur-based spot treatment and they'll clear right up - and blush should never look like you got punched in the face). Clint also complemented me on my figure, my long luxurious neck, my eye color, my legs, it was like God sent him just to give me a little boost that day.
the best thing that Clint said to me while he did my make up, was after i had briefly told him about my current state of becoming un-married, he said
"Well honey, your husband really did lose a beauty."
of course, he says this while he is applying white eye-liner to my lower lid to make my eyes look more open, and of course, i teared up (have i mentioned i am a crier?)
and he says
"Oh no, honey, I didn't mean to make you cry." and i said "No, i'm crying because you're right, and honestly, my husband never knew he had one."
and it was just a really sweet moment, to hear that someone thought i was beautiful and that Seth had really lost something big when he let me go. and even more sweet, was that Clint grabbed a tissue and dabbed my eyes for me and immediately helped me find something better to talk about.
needless to say, Clint gave me the means to look beautiful that day in more ways than makeup.
gay makeup guy:
on the morning of the wedding, we got our makeup done by the gayest man i have ever met, Clint, and besides the actual wedding, it was the highlight of my entire day. Clint helped me understand lipstick and foundation and blush (3 things which i am completely alien to-i'm blonde and fair-what color lipstick? - i have problem areas that he told me were simply hormonal and i need to get a sulphur-based spot treatment and they'll clear right up - and blush should never look like you got punched in the face). Clint also complemented me on my figure, my long luxurious neck, my eye color, my legs, it was like God sent him just to give me a little boost that day.
the best thing that Clint said to me while he did my make up, was after i had briefly told him about my current state of becoming un-married, he said
"Well honey, your husband really did lose a beauty."
of course, he says this while he is applying white eye-liner to my lower lid to make my eyes look more open, and of course, i teared up (have i mentioned i am a crier?)
and he says
"Oh no, honey, I didn't mean to make you cry." and i said "No, i'm crying because you're right, and honestly, my husband never knew he had one."
and it was just a really sweet moment, to hear that someone thought i was beautiful and that Seth had really lost something big when he let me go. and even more sweet, was that Clint grabbed a tissue and dabbed my eyes for me and immediately helped me find something better to talk about.
needless to say, Clint gave me the means to look beautiful that day in more ways than makeup.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
the wedding, dress alterations
because i think that i could honestly write a movie based on all of the events that happened this weekend at the wedding, i feel like it would do us all a bit of good for me to try and break it down into smaller, easily digestible fragments, rather than create a long wordy post with boring details about every little event.
so we'll start with.................
the dress alterations:
well, when we finally met up it was oh about, 4:45 in the MORNING and i did not want to risk either scenario, A: blow up or B:melt down at such an ungodly hour, so i bunched up the plastic sleeve that the dress was in, and packed it in with the rest of the stuff we took with us to FL.
fast forward through the achingly boring, fitful sleep filled 8 hour car-ride from Charlotte to Orlando. you know, the kind of sleep you can only get in the back of a car. lean this way, your neck hurts. lean this way, your legs/feet/lower extremities fall asleep.
we get to our destination, i unpack the dress and quickly sweep it into my room, and shut the closet door.
i don't have the room to myself, and in fact, Jeannie's only other bridesmaid (actually the Maid of Honor) is her younger sister, Beth. and because Beth was out at Epcot with some of the wedding guests, i took this opportunity to look at Beth's dress in a side-by-side comparison with mine.
Beth's dress: has a perfect hem line, done on a real sewing machine, and is completely even.
mine: i believe my exact thought was "OH SHIT."
comparatively, my hem line was a little off, the fact that it was HAND-SEWN by ME was very evident, and to top it off, my mom had used an adhesive to try and make a fake hem-line, and even though it looked awful within the first few inches, she did it the ENTIRE way around. i found this mind-boggling as i looked at my dress and looked at Beth's dress. WHY WOULD MY MOM KEEP IRONING ON THIS PERMANENT ADHESIVE THE ENTIRE WAY AROUND THE DRESS IF SHE WAS SEEING HOW IT WAS CONSISTENTLY SHITTY? also, my mom had hemmed the dress' liner to the length of the adhesive, but now the dress was shorter and so the liner needed to be taken up.
so.
i had to start being honest, but not necessarily with Jeannie.
so when she got there, i told Beth. i said "Beth, i know you know how your sister is and if she knew what i am about to do, she'd probably hang me up by my fingernails and i wouldn't be in her wedding anymore because i'd be dead, so i'm going to need you to help me cover my ass and i've got to do some work to my dress. my mom and i have both botched it up pretty good, but if you'll help me make sure your sister does NOT come into this room, i will buy you a gift card or take you to dinner whenever i get a job back in NC."
Beth: it's cool. I got your back.
did i mention that Beth is 18 and may or may not be a recreational stoner?
so, i broke out the ole needle and thread, turned the dress inside out, and trimmed the broke-looking adhesive hem, crappily sewed the liner to a new length, and when i turned it back to the rightside out, i put it on and Beth helped me survey the damage.
1-i caught a piece of the ACTUAL dress when i was snipping away at the old hem with the adhesive on it. there was a somewhat noticeable tear in the fabric near the hemline. CRAP!
2-there were several places where the liner was still hanging lower than the dress.
3-there were noticeable strings hanging down from the hemline.
4-CRAP.
Beth totally saved the day and helped me fix the liner with the dress still on my body and listened to me bubble out excuses about how i am not a professional seamstress and how hell would have to freeze over before i let my mom touch something else i need altered ever again. and how THIS is why you pay $40 to have someone else do the work for you.
there were a few panic moments wherein Jeannie knocked on the door and asked what we were doing, but Beth was a total champ and said "We're writing our toasts, go away!" whew.
and while i kept envisioning Sunday morning to be a catastrophe along the lines of:
hair and makeup done, time to put on the dresses. Beth gets dressed, then i get dressed, as we are standing next to one another, the gay guy who is doing our makeup, the mean woman who is doing our hair, and Jeannie's mother and grandmother crowd around me and point at my hemline gasping "WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR DRESS? WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US SOONER?"
instead, Sunday morning turned out to go like this:
hair and makeup done, time to put on the dresses. i get dressed, Beth gets dressed, and when i walk out everyone (all of the aforementioned folks) says "YOU LOOK AWESOME!" i think the gay guy even snapped his fingers! "What a great color and cute dress that is! You can wear that again on a cruise!" HA!
luckily, by the end of the night, after dancing and prancing and doing the whole wedding shebang, the dress was not in tatters, none of the seams i sewed had fallen out, and the safety pins holding the liner up were completely unnoticeable.
when we got home and undressed, i said to Beth, "would you believe that not one person said a thing about my dress?! i think i gave myself an ulcer worrying about it and no one even NOTICED! maybe i should be a seamstress!"
then i snapped out of it and realized i must have been delusional.
pictures, for your enjoyment, and if you are a seamstress, your disappointment with my craftsmanship:
this is just a glimpse of what i call the "small scale puckering" that occurred when i hand stitched the hem.
an upskirt shot. ha!
this is what the LINER looked like when i was DONE with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha!
please note, 3 safety pins, and a whole lot of messy seams.
can you believe that NO ONE said anything?!
so we'll start with.................
the dress alterations:
well, when we finally met up it was oh about, 4:45 in the MORNING and i did not want to risk either scenario, A: blow up or B:melt down at such an ungodly hour, so i bunched up the plastic sleeve that the dress was in, and packed it in with the rest of the stuff we took with us to FL.
fast forward through the achingly boring, fitful sleep filled 8 hour car-ride from Charlotte to Orlando. you know, the kind of sleep you can only get in the back of a car. lean this way, your neck hurts. lean this way, your legs/feet/lower extremities fall asleep.
we get to our destination, i unpack the dress and quickly sweep it into my room, and shut the closet door.
i don't have the room to myself, and in fact, Jeannie's only other bridesmaid (actually the Maid of Honor) is her younger sister, Beth. and because Beth was out at Epcot with some of the wedding guests, i took this opportunity to look at Beth's dress in a side-by-side comparison with mine.
Beth's dress: has a perfect hem line, done on a real sewing machine, and is completely even.
mine: i believe my exact thought was "OH SHIT."
comparatively, my hem line was a little off, the fact that it was HAND-SEWN by ME was very evident, and to top it off, my mom had used an adhesive to try and make a fake hem-line, and even though it looked awful within the first few inches, she did it the ENTIRE way around. i found this mind-boggling as i looked at my dress and looked at Beth's dress. WHY WOULD MY MOM KEEP IRONING ON THIS PERMANENT ADHESIVE THE ENTIRE WAY AROUND THE DRESS IF SHE WAS SEEING HOW IT WAS CONSISTENTLY SHITTY? also, my mom had hemmed the dress' liner to the length of the adhesive, but now the dress was shorter and so the liner needed to be taken up.
so.
i had to start being honest, but not necessarily with Jeannie.
so when she got there, i told Beth. i said "Beth, i know you know how your sister is and if she knew what i am about to do, she'd probably hang me up by my fingernails and i wouldn't be in her wedding anymore because i'd be dead, so i'm going to need you to help me cover my ass and i've got to do some work to my dress. my mom and i have both botched it up pretty good, but if you'll help me make sure your sister does NOT come into this room, i will buy you a gift card or take you to dinner whenever i get a job back in NC."
Beth: it's cool. I got your back.
did i mention that Beth is 18 and may or may not be a recreational stoner?
so, i broke out the ole needle and thread, turned the dress inside out, and trimmed the broke-looking adhesive hem, crappily sewed the liner to a new length, and when i turned it back to the rightside out, i put it on and Beth helped me survey the damage.
1-i caught a piece of the ACTUAL dress when i was snipping away at the old hem with the adhesive on it. there was a somewhat noticeable tear in the fabric near the hemline. CRAP!
2-there were several places where the liner was still hanging lower than the dress.
3-there were noticeable strings hanging down from the hemline.
4-CRAP.
Beth totally saved the day and helped me fix the liner with the dress still on my body and listened to me bubble out excuses about how i am not a professional seamstress and how hell would have to freeze over before i let my mom touch something else i need altered ever again. and how THIS is why you pay $40 to have someone else do the work for you.
there were a few panic moments wherein Jeannie knocked on the door and asked what we were doing, but Beth was a total champ and said "We're writing our toasts, go away!" whew.
and while i kept envisioning Sunday morning to be a catastrophe along the lines of:
hair and makeup done, time to put on the dresses. Beth gets dressed, then i get dressed, as we are standing next to one another, the gay guy who is doing our makeup, the mean woman who is doing our hair, and Jeannie's mother and grandmother crowd around me and point at my hemline gasping "WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR DRESS? WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US SOONER?"
instead, Sunday morning turned out to go like this:
hair and makeup done, time to put on the dresses. i get dressed, Beth gets dressed, and when i walk out everyone (all of the aforementioned folks) says "YOU LOOK AWESOME!" i think the gay guy even snapped his fingers! "What a great color and cute dress that is! You can wear that again on a cruise!" HA!
luckily, by the end of the night, after dancing and prancing and doing the whole wedding shebang, the dress was not in tatters, none of the seams i sewed had fallen out, and the safety pins holding the liner up were completely unnoticeable.
when we got home and undressed, i said to Beth, "would you believe that not one person said a thing about my dress?! i think i gave myself an ulcer worrying about it and no one even NOTICED! maybe i should be a seamstress!"
then i snapped out of it and realized i must have been delusional.
pictures, for your enjoyment, and if you are a seamstress, your disappointment with my craftsmanship:
this is just a glimpse of what i call the "small scale puckering" that occurred when i hand stitched the hem.
an upskirt shot. ha!
this is what the LINER looked like when i was DONE with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha!
please note, 3 safety pins, and a whole lot of messy seams.
can you believe that NO ONE said anything?!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
back in black
okay, i'm not wearing black, but i am back.
back from a whirlwind weekend in Florida.
will post about the wedding asap.
rest assured, this weekend was full of:
awkward moments, one hilarious gay make-up artist guy, heartfelt toasts, temper tantrums, dress-alterations, mini-meltdowns, inappropriate gestures, European kiss-kissing with a beautiful Portugese man, and dancing until my feet cramped.
but for now,
i must sleep.
back from a whirlwind weekend in Florida.
will post about the wedding asap.
rest assured, this weekend was full of:
awkward moments, one hilarious gay make-up artist guy, heartfelt toasts, temper tantrums, dress-alterations, mini-meltdowns, inappropriate gestures, European kiss-kissing with a beautiful Portugese man, and dancing until my feet cramped.
but for now,
i must sleep.
Friday, January 18, 2008
why on earth.....
why on earth am i awake at 2 am?
let's see:
about the time i was deciding whether the timing was right to leave Seth (and i found that there is no right timing) was the same time that my friend Jeannie picked out the dresses for her wedding.
it should be noted that the Maid of Honor is her younger sister, and that there is only one other bridesmaid: me.
she picked out your basic satin-luscious pearly green color and got it in a halter top style from David's Bridal. we* decided that the length was weird and that we would get it hemmed to just below the kneecap.
*we=Bridezilla.
and like clockwork, every week since NOVEMBER 1 i have gotten at least one email that says "hey, have you gotten your dress altered yet? the wedding is only ____ weeks away and we* need to make sure it's done and ready for the wedding by January 18."
EVERY WEEK.
and me, being in the middle of a major-life-change and almost completely BROKE, i turned to my mother about 3 weeks into December and i ask her if she could alter the dress for me. she said she could. so i didn't worry about it.
my mom sews for a living, but sews cushions and pillows for furniture, not dresses. but when i did get married she altered my dress and a few million other times, she's come through for me on the alterations so that i don't have to pay and i don't have to bother with seamstresses.
fast forward to a week ago, i tried on the dress, Mom looks at it and says "yeah, easy as pie".
fast forward to Monday, four days ago. i ask Mom if she will please get started on the dress because i was going to be moving on Tuesday and back on Thursday and then on the road by Friday morning so really, the dress needed to be done by Thursday.
i got home tonight around 9:30.
i ask Mom what the dress looks like, and she looked at me like Bashful the Dwarf, but maybe a little more like Ashamed the Dwarf (if there were one), and says "I tried my best."
i surveyed the dress and pronounced the fact that if Jeannie were to see this dress she would say that it looked shitty and that i should've gotten it professionally done and now i have officially ruined her wedding.
this did not go over well for my Mom, and while i didn't mean to hurt her feelings, she has also really put me in a bind. the wedding is Sunday, it is basically FRIDAY. so....i wish she would've called me earlier and told me that she didn't think she was qualified to finish hemming the dress, so that i could've possibly arranged to find an alterations seamstress in Florida before i actually get there.
so then i just decided to bite the bullet and deal with Bridezilla first thing when i see her at 4:45 AM, and i was just going to say "i'm sorry, there are no excuses, this will not be a big deal, i can find someone to do the work." and i tried to fall asleep so that i could get some rest before driving to Florida in the morning, but then, as i lay there, i imagined a variety of scenarios snowballing from this revelation in the morning:
scenario 1: Crying
scenario 2: Silent Treatment
so, because i couldn't sleep knowing that the dress was hanging in here looking shitty, i got up, tried a few different sewing techniques and fixed the dress by hand.
when i say fixed i mean i did whatever i thought would look the least shitty. clearly, it no longer looks new from David's Bridal and YES it does look a little shitty, but i am proud of it, and hopefully, she won't even care/notice (although something tells me she will). but here's my gameplan: play it cool, act like it looks AWESOME, and if she says anything more than once, then i will ask her if she really wants me to get another seamstress to look at it. this way, i make it her choice and not mine.
now, maybe i can get an hour and a half of sleep before i have to get up to get in a car and ride to FL with Bridezilla and her man.
g'night!
let's see:
about the time i was deciding whether the timing was right to leave Seth (and i found that there is no right timing) was the same time that my friend Jeannie picked out the dresses for her wedding.
it should be noted that the Maid of Honor is her younger sister, and that there is only one other bridesmaid: me.
she picked out your basic satin-luscious pearly green color and got it in a halter top style from David's Bridal. we* decided that the length was weird and that we would get it hemmed to just below the kneecap.
*we=Bridezilla.
and like clockwork, every week since NOVEMBER 1 i have gotten at least one email that says "hey, have you gotten your dress altered yet? the wedding is only ____ weeks away and we* need to make sure it's done and ready for the wedding by January 18."
EVERY WEEK.
and me, being in the middle of a major-life-change and almost completely BROKE, i turned to my mother about 3 weeks into December and i ask her if she could alter the dress for me. she said she could. so i didn't worry about it.
my mom sews for a living, but sews cushions and pillows for furniture, not dresses. but when i did get married she altered my dress and a few million other times, she's come through for me on the alterations so that i don't have to pay and i don't have to bother with seamstresses.
fast forward to a week ago, i tried on the dress, Mom looks at it and says "yeah, easy as pie".
fast forward to Monday, four days ago. i ask Mom if she will please get started on the dress because i was going to be moving on Tuesday and back on Thursday and then on the road by Friday morning so really, the dress needed to be done by Thursday.
i got home tonight around 9:30.
i ask Mom what the dress looks like, and she looked at me like Bashful the Dwarf, but maybe a little more like Ashamed the Dwarf (if there were one), and says "I tried my best."
i surveyed the dress and pronounced the fact that if Jeannie were to see this dress she would say that it looked shitty and that i should've gotten it professionally done and now i have officially ruined her wedding.
this did not go over well for my Mom, and while i didn't mean to hurt her feelings, she has also really put me in a bind. the wedding is Sunday, it is basically FRIDAY. so....i wish she would've called me earlier and told me that she didn't think she was qualified to finish hemming the dress, so that i could've possibly arranged to find an alterations seamstress in Florida before i actually get there.
so then i just decided to bite the bullet and deal with Bridezilla first thing when i see her at 4:45 AM, and i was just going to say "i'm sorry, there are no excuses, this will not be a big deal, i can find someone to do the work." and i tried to fall asleep so that i could get some rest before driving to Florida in the morning, but then, as i lay there, i imagined a variety of scenarios snowballing from this revelation in the morning:
scenario 1: Crying
she bursts into tears because she has asked me repeatedly how the alterations were coming along and i lied to her the entire time, saying "everything's great, the dress looks great!" she looks at me and says "NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!!!! BAAAHHHHHHHHHWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
scenario 2: Silent Treatment
this is probably the more realistic scenario as she is prone to pouting and blocking people out until she suddenly snaps back into being a normal person. this presents a horrific car-ride situation for the 7 hour trip to Florida, am i wrong?
and then there's the worst scenario [and least likely to happen]
scenario 3: Bitch Fight
this then presented the imagined scenario of an honest conversation ending in a fight where she says "You ruined my wedding" and i say "You know, there is a REASON why you only have 1 bridesmaid! it is WORK being your friend!" then of course, i am no longer invited to the wedding and stranded in Florida with no ride home.
so, because i couldn't sleep knowing that the dress was hanging in here looking shitty, i got up, tried a few different sewing techniques and fixed the dress by hand.
when i say fixed i mean i did whatever i thought would look the least shitty. clearly, it no longer looks new from David's Bridal and YES it does look a little shitty, but i am proud of it, and hopefully, she won't even care/notice (although something tells me she will). but here's my gameplan: play it cool, act like it looks AWESOME, and if she says anything more than once, then i will ask her if she really wants me to get another seamstress to look at it. this way, i make it her choice and not mine.
now, maybe i can get an hour and a half of sleep before i have to get up to get in a car and ride to FL with Bridezilla and her man.
g'night!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
ettiquette for the unmarried
so.
Seth and i spent a long time picking out the fine china from the Kate Spade collection, only to use it once, and now that we are getting un-married, well, we certainly have no use for it. so i called him and left him a voicemail the other night, just to say that we needed to talk.
he called today and we talked. i asked him what we should do about the china, and he said that he would have to talk to his aunt because all of our china is over there at her house...but i think the plan is try to return it, and then split the money.
then i asked about whether or not he had filed the un-marry-ment papers, and he was like, "I haven't had the chance yet, I've been working during daytime work hours, so I haven't gotten to talk to the lawyers yet." and i was like, well, let me know when you do, okay? and he's like "Well, okay, but I am busy, so I will try to fit it in."
then he says, "I've still be thinking about those rings, and I think that you need to give them back so that I can sell them because I mean, I bought them with my money, so I think it is only fair that I should have them back."
me: "i don't agree, i mean, you gave them to me. they are mine."
him: "but I bought them"
me: "but they belong to me. they are mine to keep or sell or do whatever i want with."
him: "okay, well I think we should talk about this more later."
me: "well, i'm going to hold onto them."
when i hung up i just wanted to throw the phone. i had hot tears welling up in my eyes. how does he still have the power to make me feel like sh*t from 4 states away. UGH.
they are not his rings, they are mine. am i wrong?
Seth and i spent a long time picking out the fine china from the Kate Spade collection, only to use it once, and now that we are getting un-married, well, we certainly have no use for it. so i called him and left him a voicemail the other night, just to say that we needed to talk.
he called today and we talked. i asked him what we should do about the china, and he said that he would have to talk to his aunt because all of our china is over there at her house...but i think the plan is try to return it, and then split the money.
then i asked about whether or not he had filed the un-marry-ment papers, and he was like, "I haven't had the chance yet, I've been working during daytime work hours, so I haven't gotten to talk to the lawyers yet." and i was like, well, let me know when you do, okay? and he's like "Well, okay, but I am busy, so I will try to fit it in."
then he says, "I've still be thinking about those rings, and I think that you need to give them back so that I can sell them because I mean, I bought them with my money, so I think it is only fair that I should have them back."
me: "i don't agree, i mean, you gave them to me. they are mine."
him: "but I bought them"
me: "but they belong to me. they are mine to keep or sell or do whatever i want with."
him: "okay, well I think we should talk about this more later."
me: "well, i'm going to hold onto them."
when i hung up i just wanted to throw the phone. i had hot tears welling up in my eyes. how does he still have the power to make me feel like sh*t from 4 states away. UGH.
they are not his rings, they are mine. am i wrong?
Thursday, January 3, 2008
gotta call Seth
i have to make a point to call Seth so that i can arrange 2 things:
1-to make sure he knows that he is not going to be able to sell my rings, but that if i decide to sell them, then that is completely up to me and me alone.
and
2-because of the bills that i am going to have to pay coming up soon, i need to talk to Seth in order to get him to talk to his aunt because we stored our *completely unopened fine china* at her house before we moved and now, since i cannot imagine that either of us wants to dine on those lovely plates and serving-wares, then maybe i can take them back to the department store where they all came from and get some store credit.
so, how do i go about saying all of that in a nice way, i have no idea, i'm less good at making things sound nice as i am at just being flat-out brutally honest.
besides this recent development in the "need to call Seth" category, i have exciting news on the job-front, i don't have an interview yet, BUT i find out tomorrow if i will be scheduled for an interview or not.....so....pray it up for that because i really need to land some kind of job in order to hold down the AWESOME place that i found for Carla and i to move into! :)
things are working out, one little domino at a time.
1-to make sure he knows that he is not going to be able to sell my rings, but that if i decide to sell them, then that is completely up to me and me alone.
and
2-because of the bills that i am going to have to pay coming up soon, i need to talk to Seth in order to get him to talk to his aunt because we stored our *completely unopened fine china* at her house before we moved and now, since i cannot imagine that either of us wants to dine on those lovely plates and serving-wares, then maybe i can take them back to the department store where they all came from and get some store credit.
so, how do i go about saying all of that in a nice way, i have no idea, i'm less good at making things sound nice as i am at just being flat-out brutally honest.
besides this recent development in the "need to call Seth" category, i have exciting news on the job-front, i don't have an interview yet, BUT i find out tomorrow if i will be scheduled for an interview or not.....so....pray it up for that because i really need to land some kind of job in order to hold down the AWESOME place that i found for Carla and i to move into! :)
things are working out, one little domino at a time.
Monday, December 31, 2007
the rings
Seth called today.
i missed it so he left me a voicemail, here's what it said:
me: Hey, What's this weird question you have to ask me?
he didn't even get two words out before i just sprung that on him.
Seth: Hey, well, you might think this is weird, but I was wondering if you knew where your wedding rings are because I have been looking for them and I cannot find them.
me: well of course you can't find them, i have them.
Seth: Oh, you do? Oh, I thought they were packed away up here. I'm moving today and I have turned everything inside out looking for them.
me: no, you didn't have to do that, because i asked you what i should do with them the night before i left, i said "What do you want me to do with these?" and you said "Keep them, they're yours anyway, and what would I do with them?" so i kept them, i have them, why? do you need them?
Seth: oh, well, it might sound weird but i was going to sell them, but I guess since you have them, then I can't sell them.
me: well, you told me to keep them, so i have them.
Seth: Well, I am in the middle of moving right now, but I want to talk to you more about this, but I hope you have a happy new years, are you doing anything?
me: yeah, Carla and i are having a little get-together. how's the move going?
Seth: it's good, well hey, I should go because I just got my car here and I need to unload it. I guess we'll talk again soon.
me: yeah, okay.
Seth: Happy New Years.
me: You too.
and there you have it.
we both want to sell my rings, but i am the only one who actually has the rings...but Seth has the diamond certifications and what not, so we're in a catch 22. i can't sell them without the certifications, and he can't sell them because he doesn't actually have them.
what do you think i should do? i need some feedback!
Happy New Years Eve!
i missed it so he left me a voicemail, here's what it said:
Hey, this is Seth, happy new year, hope you're doing something cool, and stuff. anyway, I have a really weird question to ask you and if you would please give me a call back and I will ask you, I hope you're doing alright, happy new year and I hope you had a merry christmas, I will catch up with you soon, talk to you later, bye.so, as i am a generally curious person, i called him immediately.
me: Hey, What's this weird question you have to ask me?
he didn't even get two words out before i just sprung that on him.
Seth: Hey, well, you might think this is weird, but I was wondering if you knew where your wedding rings are because I have been looking for them and I cannot find them.
me: well of course you can't find them, i have them.
Seth: Oh, you do? Oh, I thought they were packed away up here. I'm moving today and I have turned everything inside out looking for them.
me: no, you didn't have to do that, because i asked you what i should do with them the night before i left, i said "What do you want me to do with these?" and you said "Keep them, they're yours anyway, and what would I do with them?" so i kept them, i have them, why? do you need them?
Seth: oh, well, it might sound weird but i was going to sell them, but I guess since you have them, then I can't sell them.
me: well, you told me to keep them, so i have them.
Seth: Well, I am in the middle of moving right now, but I want to talk to you more about this, but I hope you have a happy new years, are you doing anything?
me: yeah, Carla and i are having a little get-together. how's the move going?
Seth: it's good, well hey, I should go because I just got my car here and I need to unload it. I guess we'll talk again soon.
me: yeah, okay.
Seth: Happy New Years.
me: You too.
and there you have it.
we both want to sell my rings, but i am the only one who actually has the rings...but Seth has the diamond certifications and what not, so we're in a catch 22. i can't sell them without the certifications, and he can't sell them because he doesn't actually have them.
what do you think i should do? i need some feedback!
Happy New Years Eve!
Monday, December 24, 2007
should i just ignore it?
my check engine light has been on and off for 2 months now.
right now, it is ON.
these are the times i wish i had a man who could lift up the hood of the car and figure out what is wrong with it so that i don't have to drive around worried my car is going to break, and so that i won't have to take it to the mechanic's garage because i detest paying them to do diagnostic tests just to find out everything is "just fine Ma'am" and "your car runs like a champ", while i stand there thinking, "then why is the LIGHT on?!"
okay. there are worse things than having the check engine light on. just tonight i drove past a pretty horrible car wreck. i guess people still have accidents on such magical nights as Christmas Eve.
right now, it is ON.
these are the times i wish i had a man who could lift up the hood of the car and figure out what is wrong with it so that i don't have to drive around worried my car is going to break, and so that i won't have to take it to the mechanic's garage because i detest paying them to do diagnostic tests just to find out everything is "just fine Ma'am" and "your car runs like a champ", while i stand there thinking, "then why is the LIGHT on?!"
okay. there are worse things than having the check engine light on. just tonight i drove past a pretty horrible car wreck. i guess people still have accidents on such magical nights as Christmas Eve.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
talking to him sucks
so today i got a call from Seth.
when i went to pay my credit card bill last month i wasn't paying attention when i confirmed the payment, so when i logged back in a few days later to make sure it posted i realized i'd posted it from one of his banking accounts on accident.
i immediately realized what i had done and called him then.
but today, while i am at my $7/hr measly job:
1- i have one missed call.
2- i have one short voicemail that sounds more or less like this:
3-as soon as i am on break, my phone is ringing, so i answer, it's him.
4-he's walking *our* sweet dog, and is a little out of breath. he says,
5- he goes on into a mini-lecture about how he's already strapped for money and how he just can't handle me stressing him out over stuff like "this".
6-i apologize and kindly remind him that i had already warned him that what i had done would have some repurcussions, but that i had called him 2 weeks ago for a head's up. he says he has to go, but that if i could just repay him what he was fined by his bank ($12) then we'd be square. AND he reminded me like i was 12, to remove his banking account from my credit card banking links. DUH, i told him, i had already done that two weeks ago.
7-i eat lunch, alone in the break room at work, crying with no one to talk to.
8-he calls me back about 10 minutes later.
9-says he just got things straightened out with his bank and they didn't fine him afterall. he says "I took care of it".
10-i say: "from now on, whenever you're in freakout mode, how about just send me an email. i cannot handle how stupid you make me feel and i can't take that ever again."
11-i hang up feeling like i stood up for myself and helped him see himself in my mirror for once.
12-i am reminded all over again why i had to leave and why i could not be his wife for 1 second longer.
13-my heart rejoiced.
when i went to pay my credit card bill last month i wasn't paying attention when i confirmed the payment, so when i logged back in a few days later to make sure it posted i realized i'd posted it from one of his banking accounts on accident.
i immediately realized what i had done and called him then.
but today, while i am at my $7/hr measly job:
1- i have one missed call.
2- i have one short voicemail that sounds more or less like this:
hey, it's me. i don't know if you know, but you used my account to pay for something, and i didn't have sufficient funds so it overdrew, and we need to talk.
3-as soon as i am on break, my phone is ringing, so i answer, it's him.
4-he's walking *our* sweet dog, and is a little out of breath. he says,
"You overdrew from my checking and I got fined....I hate when you do stuff like this.....etc"
5- he goes on into a mini-lecture about how he's already strapped for money and how he just can't handle me stressing him out over stuff like "this".
6-i apologize and kindly remind him that i had already warned him that what i had done would have some repurcussions, but that i had called him 2 weeks ago for a head's up. he says he has to go, but that if i could just repay him what he was fined by his bank ($12) then we'd be square. AND he reminded me like i was 12, to remove his banking account from my credit card banking links. DUH, i told him, i had already done that two weeks ago.
7-i eat lunch, alone in the break room at work, crying with no one to talk to.
8-he calls me back about 10 minutes later.
9-says he just got things straightened out with his bank and they didn't fine him afterall. he says "I took care of it".
10-i say: "from now on, whenever you're in freakout mode, how about just send me an email. i cannot handle how stupid you make me feel and i can't take that ever again."
11-i hang up feeling like i stood up for myself and helped him see himself in my mirror for once.
12-i am reminded all over again why i had to leave and why i could not be his wife for 1 second longer.
13-my heart rejoiced.
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