i always thought i had lived my life by the book....
now i'm finding that nothing you plan on is certain.....

Sunday, July 13, 2008

soliciting support

i finished Chapter 3 today: "There's Something I Have To Tell You..." Sharing Your News and Getting the Support You Need From Friends, Family and Work.

it was really hard to read over the tears that welled up in my eyes as i read the chapter. i knew it'd be tough, mainly because i'm going through a very lonely time in my life. oh yes, i am surrounded by people, the restaurant keeps me busy, living in the second highest populated city in North Carolina, i am definitely in no shortage for people. but i haven't been getting the support i need. i haven't had people asking me how i'm doing, or if they've asked, it's only a superficial question. no one offers a shoulder for me to cry on or an ear to talk to, with the sole EXCEPTION of Carla. no one calls, no one emails, and the only mail that comes are the bills, that i am currently unable to pay. my only incoming calls are from Carla.

all that to say, that the following lines inspired me:
If you are like [the authors] Kay and Sarah, you might have trouble asking for help, so allow yourself to be more demanding during this time. If people don't know how to be there for you, then give them ideas.
...People who love you will often do extraordinary things if you just give them the opportunity.
so, i decided that i am going to do just what i've been needing to do for quite a while. i need to email my friends and family and solicit their support. not one of them knows how often i cry myself to sleep. not one of them knows how lonely it is for me to be home alone for hours on end with only a kitten to comfort me. just once i'd like to have someone surprise me, with anything, something out of the ordinary. my birthday is in just over a month, and honestly, i'm already disappointed.

i'm emailing them tonight.

i'll keep you posted on the response that i get, if any.

-lisa-

3 comments:

Two Date Diva said...

Good for you! It's hard to let people into our personal private hell sometimes. However, when we do, sometimes our friends and family can actually help find a way out that we might not have thought of before. Hang in there. And if you need more emails let me know!

Anonymous said...

Hang in there! I am going through a lot of the same. If you need support form here, let me know!

Letting things be said...

Hi, I came to your site by accident and I have really enjoyed it.

Right now I'm contemplating separation from my husband of 6 years - and I'm only 24 years old.

But if I do go through with the separation first and then the divorce, I'd like you to know that I have really appreciate everything that you have written.

So thank you - I hope you don't mind that I will be waiting for updates!

 

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