i always thought i had lived my life by the book....
now i'm finding that nothing you plan on is certain.....

Sunday, August 3, 2008

what to say.....

i am becoming more and more comfortable with sharing the fact that the divorce is finalized and that i am single....

the thing is now that it's official, the most common response that i've been getting is

"and how do you feel about it?"

it sometimes prompts me to want to scream

"ELATED!"

"OVERWHELMINGLY HAPPY!"

"LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!"

but whenever someone asks me this, i just wonder to myself, what do they mean? should i feel any differently now than i have in the past?

do they expect me to feel differently? before it was official, whenever i was asked this question, my response has been the same: it's the best decision i've ever made. ever.

seriously! the BEST decision!

now that it's official, i'm only MORE AFFIRMED that this has been the best decision for me even if it was hard.


recently i've been attending an Early 20's Singles class at a local church and while i've enjoyed meeting the people and being introduced to other people my age, i have to say, that this group of people is full of misguided, naive and ultra-conservative folks. i haven't exactly spilled the beans that i'm a recent divorcee, mainly because it's none of their business, but also because i get the slightest, faintest feeling that they might just shun me or have me wear a scarlet letter "D" to any of their group meetings!!! ha!

on their singles ministry website they have a special note saying that this group is for people who are single and have never been married.........this is something that i choose to ignore. i would think that their "divorced" class would be filled with much older, much less easy to relate to people.....

anyway, i can only imagine what their responses would be if i were to out myself and just declare to the group "You guys are so so so narrow-minded! i'm a divorcee and i've never been more at peace with a decision in my life!" i'm sure that i'd get a response of "God didn't want you to get a divorce" and "There's no room for divorce in God's love" etc etc. but right now i'm flying below radar. just trying to enjoy being around other people who are in similar life situations....with similar beliefs....but i don't know how long i'll be able to hold my tongue in such settings anymore. i just feel like they need to be shaken up a little. they need to be reminded that Jesus would've been sharing meals with Hell's Angels, prostitutes, Marilyn Manson AND me, and He would never make us wear scarlet letters.

alright.

i know that was a little scatter-brained, but i've been needing to say something about something, so that was it.

OH,

and no word on the job interview, if she wants to interview me in the second round then i will find out on Thursday....i'd be super-stoked if i were to get a second interview (the company was really fresh, the staff was really young and smart, the dress was casual, etc....) but if i don't i'm sure that God has something else in mind for me....i just hope i am smart enough to recognize it when it happens....especially because i am thisclose to putting in my 2 weeks at the restaurant <--will explain this in a separate post soon.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Yikes about that 20-something group! As a fellow Christian, I can say that I agree more with you. Jesus came to save the pitiful..not the perfect. Don't let their hautiness get to you. I may be judged at times too for having a balance in life [ie. enjoying a beer or wine, listening to secular music or going to the local music festival] but I know where my heart and eternity stands.

Best wishes to you and congrats on things being official!

 

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