the dreaded question

before last night i had not spoken with Seth in over 3 weeks. it may have even been a month, but i can't really remember.

anyway. he called last night at about 10pm and even though my friend Anny was over for a little visit, i decided since it had been so long that i should go downstairs and answer it.

we did the usual, catching each other up on what we've been up to: he's been promoted to be a Manager at the store he works at, which is wonderful! and i told him about how Carla has finally moved up to Raleigh and how i have got an interview on Tuesday.

then he asked me a few questions about our un-married-ment such as if i wanted to keep his last name or reinstate my maiden name (i'm going back to my maiden name), and if i was going to be getting a lawyer or not (i'm not) and a few other miscellaneous questions. then came the dreaded question:

are you seeing anyone?

me: "No! Of course not, the only male in my life is my fish."
Seth: "Oh, cool."
me:"Are you?!!!" (i tried to sound "breezy" but i am sure he heard the surprise in my voice)
Seth:"No one girl in particular. I've been trying to make friends in general, so I've been around some groups of people, but nah, not dating anyone."
me: .....
Seth:"Really though, there is one girl I've hung out with alone a couple of times recently, but it's nothing. I haven't even hugged her."
me:"You know, it's cool if you hug her. I hope that you do meet someone new."
Seth:"Well, that's not something I'm trying to do, but she is cool, so we hang out."

and that was really the end of the conversation. i went back upstairs and promptly spilled my guts to Anny and Carla both about the conversation.

i hadn't really even considered the fact that i could actually date again. i mean, i know that i am not officially un-married yet, but it hadn't really occurred to me that i could date again. i mean, i have been meeting people, all men, but only to make friends. Valentine's Day is this week and i am actually looking forward to it.

i'm rejoicing that i am single. i know that i don't need to be getting serious with anyone until i am fully healed from the damage that i endured from my marriage. but my thoughts were more of "Why is Seth dating again?" doesn't he know that it isn't the best idea to date again while we are both so vulnerable?