something better

something better is coming.

i am working on a longer post, it's taking me some time to think on things before i go typing and hitting PUBLISH POST.

there is a lot of uncertainty in my life right now (especially considering that i am looking for employment alongside 100.000+ others in America!!!!) but i have a strange strange peace about it. i am trying to keep my eyes on the silver lining right now and trying to salvage whatever good has come out of the past few years and focusing on that.

i am ridiculously optimistic because i have finally realized that it is not up to me at all! ha! control? what control?!

unemployed

i lost my job on monday.

apparently they were looking for someone new and gave me no notice.

i am glad that Tuesday was full of snow and Obama-rama.

today i spent time with people who made me feel valued and loved, esp b/c my friend Simon watched "Beaches" with me.

now that is the sign of a true friend, although, he didn't cry. i have seen that movie at least 20 times and i cry every time. now onto praying for whatever is next. i can't be unemployed for very long, my bills won't pay themselves. bah!

i guess i missed the memo

what i sent:

Seth,

i tried calling you and i left a message but i wasn't sure if you'd gotten it or not. anyhoo, i was hoping to catch up, hear how you are doing. anyway, i won't take too much of your time, just wanted to say happy 2009. hope to hear from you.

-lisa

what he wrote back (a day after i sent mine):

lisa,

Things are going well for me here. My job has turned into a career path and I am getting to do some traveling with it as well. I have adjusted well here and have made many friends. Beaux is doing great. I get to climb a good bit now and am enjoying the different seasons for different types of climbing. I appreciate the good wishes and wish the same for you. I really do not think it is healthy for either of us to maintain contact with one another. I hope that you find your path in life and are able to find happiness in whatever you choose to do.

-Seth


i wanted to yell and push him down [old-school style like we were little kids]. i wanted to write a snappy quip back, i wanted him to know that i wouldn't have contacted him AT ALL had i known that he didn't think it was healthy for us to 'maintain contact' with one another. again, he made that decision and didn't tell me, and somehow i am supposed to read his mind?

so yeah.

just needed to vent a little.

give me something, anything.

there were times before Christmas that i really dreaded thinking about spending time with my family.

i thought out loud "oh God. why would i go back?"

there are various reasons that i dislike spending holidays with my family. one of the most obvious is that my grandmother has the tact of a jellyfish and my grandfather is 1 step closer to 'certifiable' every year [bless his heart, i love that man, he will be missed, he is a walking one-man-show]

but most importantly, my dad is not in town for holidays and my mom doesn't know a thing about me.

living with my mother and grandfather last year at this time was very hard. my mother never asked how i was doing. she would always unload on me about her divorce from my Dad and whenever i might offer my own vulnerability she'd change the subject back to herself.

in a lot of ways talking to/dealing with my mom is like dealing with a 12 year old. in many ways i find myself 'mothering' my own mother and it just doesn't settle well with me. i don't wan to have to guide her or hold her hand through life, she's an adult. it's hard for me to lead my own life, much less allow her to destroy any optimism i may have scooped up along the way.

i spent a total 4 hours with my family, and although i am thankful for them in ways that i may never understand or totally acknowledge, i know that in the future i will be able to be closer to them and it will be a healthy place of growth and joy, but this year was not that year. i spent the better part of 3 days with Carla and her fabulous family. warts and all Carla's family is the kind of family that i hope to achieve one day. the traditions, the unconditional love, the spats and forgiveness, everything is a learning experience and at the end of the day, they love each other, and they allow me to be an adopted daughter.

i love that.

the hard parts.

i know that i should be happy that my friends came over for my birthday party this past Saturday, AND that there were over 20 people that showed up for it.

i know that it was pretty great for my grandfather, dad, mother, sisters and Carla to call me on my actual birthday.

i know that it was great for my new job's family to have the babies sing happy birthday to me.


but the hard part was coming home to an empty house at 5:15 with absolutely no actual birth-day plans.

the hard part was not getting a call from Jeannie (who hasn't spoken or typed or txted a single word to me since her wedding in JANUARY, don't know why?!) or from Ray, or from my Mentor.....

the hard part was realizing that i have spent my last 8 years with a significant other in my life. seriously, since 2000 i had a boyfriend/fiance/husband on my birthday. so even if my friends might have let me down (for various reasons, school starting, moving in, moving away, etc. i think that having a mid-august birthday can be just as annoying as a mid-december birthday b/c it gets lost in the shuffle) i could avoid having feelings of disappointment by having a boyfriend who would take me on a date.

the hard part was realizing that as much as my family loves me, besides Sophie, i haven't seen any of them for weeks and none of them really have made an effort to come and visit me. birthdays aren't really all that big in my family. at most we might go out to eat, but there haven't really been 'presents' for a very long time. and certainly no birthday parties. it's just kind of disappointing when you know that your Dad loves you but didn't call until after 5pm, and even then, we only talked for 2 minutes. yes, literally 2 minutes, i just checked it. he did send an e-card, but even that was disappointing.

the hard part was realizing that on his birthday a week and a half ago, i sent Seth a simple, friendly email that said "happy birthday, i hope you are well". and i know, that he knew that it was my birthday yesterday, and yet, nothin. i guess that cutting me completely off is part of his coping mechanism, but damn, really? we were together for 5 years. geez louise.

the hard part was waking up at the ass-crack of dawn to go watch other people's beautiful children, in their ideal, incredible home, with pictures from their wedding day everywhere, feeling dead on my feet b/c i was so tired (i am NOT functional before 9 am).....and getting home right at 5:15 only to realize that the only immediate plans i had were to take a nap.

the hard part was realizing that dwelling on all of these things was just making me resent being alone on my birthday. so i made some plans, went out and played pool for a couple of hours, and made the best of it.


hilarious side note: i really dislike my grandmother. she sent me a card to say Happy Birthday and to remind me that my birthday present was the car payment that she mistakingly paid for me in July (she cosigned for me, my payment was late [for the first time in 3 years] and so she paid $200 for CarMax to stop calling her.) i will be paying her back as soon as i can cover my bills and make up for some late credit card payments.

re-adjusting

definitely gonna have to readjust my sleeping patterns now that my work week is 7:30a-5p Monday through Thursday! AND i'm gonna have to start getting things done when i get home in the afternoon.

i'd like to work in time to read the books i'm in the middle of (still haven't finished the divorce book even though i am itching to!) and i need to DEFINITELY schedule in some work-out time (considering i had to peel my jeans off tonight, literally, peel, it made me feel disgusting).....


i'm just going to have to do a lot of readjusting, especially because it's something i've always struggled with, time management. bluh! i hate growing up.


alright.

i have to be at my new nanny job in 8 hours........must sleep............now!


(will tell more about the job in the next post, promise!)

prolonged singleness

let's review:

first boyfriend, the Outcast: dated from March 1999-May 1999 (9th grade!!!). broke up with him b/c he wanted to put his hand up my shirt and he wasn't a Christian (said i was weak because i was a Christian).

singleness: lasted from May to July, approximately 2 months.

second boyfriend, the Jock: dated from July 1999-February 2000. broke up a few days before Valentines. found out he was dating someone new one week later.

singleness: lasted from Feb 2000 to May 2000, approximately 2 months.

third boyfriend, the Heart-Throb: dated from March 2001-March 2002. but we practically dated from May 2000 to April 2002. he was my first real love, but he was too needy, and unfortunately, now he's a tool! why do the good ones go rotten?

singleness: lasted from April 2002 to June 2002, approximately 2 months.

fourth boyfriend, the OverKill Christian: dated from June 2002-September 2002. i knew he was an outspoken conservative Christian when we met, but seriously, you have never seen someone so naive to the real world. broke up with him over dinner in the cafeteria at college.

singleness: lasted from September 2002 to January 2003, approximately 4 months.

fifth boyfriend, i.e. the Unhusband: dated from 2003 to 2005, got engaged, engaged for a year, then married in June 2006. married for a year and 4 months, ended October 2007. total togetherness: 5 years almost.

singleness: lasted from October 2007 to March 2008, approximately 5 months (which was best because i was a MESS)

sixth boyfriend, the Depresso: dated from March 2008 to May 2008. i think he was definitely my "rebound" boyfriend. what was i thinking? i knew nothing about him!

currently single after that lame break-up.

do you notice the pattern that i do? i am usually only single for 2-4 months and then i'm off the market indeterminably. i recognized this pattern and shared my concern with my ever-so-fabulous roommate Carla, and we both think it might be interesting for me to be single for a while, just to see what happens.

i never really thought i was one of those women who "doesn't like to be alone", but looking at that pattern, it makes me feel like a cheesy, overly dependent wuss-woman. i'm kind of excited to see what i can come up with when left to my own devices for more than a few months.........and it's kind of nice to keep my options open for a bit. it doesn't mean i won't enjoy the men that are in my life, but i just won't be tying myself down for a while.

what to say.....

i am becoming more and more comfortable with sharing the fact that the divorce is finalized and that i am single....

the thing is now that it's official, the most common response that i've been getting is

"and how do you feel about it?"

it sometimes prompts me to want to scream

"ELATED!"

"OVERWHELMINGLY HAPPY!"

"LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!"

but whenever someone asks me this, i just wonder to myself, what do they mean? should i feel any differently now than i have in the past?

do they expect me to feel differently? before it was official, whenever i was asked this question, my response has been the same: it's the best decision i've ever made. ever.

seriously! the BEST decision!

now that it's official, i'm only MORE AFFIRMED that this has been the best decision for me even if it was hard.


recently i've been attending an Early 20's Singles class at a local church and while i've enjoyed meeting the people and being introduced to other people my age, i have to say, that this group of people is full of misguided, naive and ultra-conservative folks. i haven't exactly spilled the beans that i'm a recent divorcee, mainly because it's none of their business, but also because i get the slightest, faintest feeling that they might just shun me or have me wear a scarlet letter "D" to any of their group meetings!!! ha!

on their singles ministry website they have a special note saying that this group is for people who are single and have never been married.........this is something that i choose to ignore. i would think that their "divorced" class would be filled with much older, much less easy to relate to people.....

anyway, i can only imagine what their responses would be if i were to out myself and just declare to the group "You guys are so so so narrow-minded! i'm a divorcee and i've never been more at peace with a decision in my life!" i'm sure that i'd get a response of "God didn't want you to get a divorce" and "There's no room for divorce in God's love" etc etc. but right now i'm flying below radar. just trying to enjoy being around other people who are in similar life situations....with similar beliefs....but i don't know how long i'll be able to hold my tongue in such settings anymore. i just feel like they need to be shaken up a little. they need to be reminded that Jesus would've been sharing meals with Hell's Angels, prostitutes, Marilyn Manson AND me, and He would never make us wear scarlet letters.

alright.

i know that was a little scatter-brained, but i've been needing to say something about something, so that was it.

OH,

and no word on the job interview, if she wants to interview me in the second round then i will find out on Thursday....i'd be super-stoked if i were to get a second interview (the company was really fresh, the staff was really young and smart, the dress was casual, etc....) but if i don't i'm sure that God has something else in mind for me....i just hope i am smart enough to recognize it when it happens....especially because i am thisclose to putting in my 2 weeks at the restaurant <--will explain this in a separate post soon.

soliciting support

i finished Chapter 3 today: "There's Something I Have To Tell You..." Sharing Your News and Getting the Support You Need From Friends, Family and Work.

it was really hard to read over the tears that welled up in my eyes as i read the chapter. i knew it'd be tough, mainly because i'm going through a very lonely time in my life. oh yes, i am surrounded by people, the restaurant keeps me busy, living in the second highest populated city in North Carolina, i am definitely in no shortage for people. but i haven't been getting the support i need. i haven't had people asking me how i'm doing, or if they've asked, it's only a superficial question. no one offers a shoulder for me to cry on or an ear to talk to, with the sole EXCEPTION of Carla. no one calls, no one emails, and the only mail that comes are the bills, that i am currently unable to pay. my only incoming calls are from Carla.

all that to say, that the following lines inspired me:

If you are like [the authors] Kay and Sarah, you might have trouble asking for help, so allow yourself to be more demanding during this time. If people don't know how to be there for you, then give them ideas.
...People who love you will often do extraordinary things if you just give them the opportunity.

so, i decided that i am going to do just what i've been needing to do for quite a while. i need to email my friends and family and solicit their support. not one of them knows how often i cry myself to sleep. not one of them knows how lonely it is for me to be home alone for hours on end with only a kitten to comfort me. just once i'd like to have someone surprise me, with anything, something out of the ordinary. my birthday is in just over a month, and honestly, i'm already disappointed.

i'm emailing them tonight.

i'll keep you posted on the response that i get, if any.

-lisa-

standing at a crossroads

i don't want to work at the restaurant anymore. i can't take it. i want to help with the flood relief in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, but i can't afford to just up and go out there. i want to be making a difference, i want to be paid to live my life and not begging for hours to get tips from people.

but i keep standing back, looking at my life, asking, seriously, "what does God want me to be learning from my life right now?"

WHAT does He want me to be learning?

what direction am i going in?

what am i supposed to do?


being at a crossroads means that i feel like my feet are confused, they don't know which way to point, which in turn gives me rubber knees and that awful shaky wobbly leg feeling.

WHAT?!

new book, new insight.

clearly, i have an undying affection for books, as i have aptly named my own blog after the way that my life has crept along, book by book.

over the holidays while i worked in a mainstream bookstore, i spent some of my off-time and breaks looking over the section with the title "Divorce", in the lifestyles section near "Death" and "Homosexuality" (i have no idea why they were all grouped together), but as i looked over the shelves, i noticed that most of the books were aimed towards a different divorced woman than myself.

they were geared for women with children, older women, women who cheated, women who were cheated on, or the legal proceedings and psychological tolls of dealing with the loss of a spouse after a lengthy marriage.

where were the books for the:

childless
young
short marriages?

i never found what i wanted on the shelves at the bookstore, i guess there isn't yet a wide-spread market for women [or men] in this status. but i did find what i wanted when i went home and googling until i hit a title that looked like it was just what i was looking for:

Not Your Mother's Divorce
by Kay Moffett and Sarah Touborg

i wrote it down in my little notebook [all great writer's carry around a notebook for jotting things, too bad mine isn't always for brilliant writing ideas, and it's more so for lists of things i need to remember]...

and i forgot about it.

until about a week ago, when i was flipping through my little notebook and saw the title. i went to my local library's website (Lavar Burton would be so proud of me!) and i found it and put a request on it. i picked it up this morning and devoured the first chapter.

i will be sharing my own insights on the book, if you can get your hands on a copy, we could do an online bookclub! so far, i find myself nodding along, agreeing on everything i read, my eyes welling up with tears as i read the chapter titles:

1-Where Did Our Love Go?
2-Suddenly Single
3-"There's Something I Need To Tell You" Sharing the news, and getting the support you need from friends, family and work.
4-Losing a Bed, a Bank Account, and a Roommate Physical and Financial Separation
5-Untying the Knot The Legal Process
6-In the Company of a Vivid Ghost Encounters with Your Ex
7-Here Comes the Divorcee Single in Society
8-The Dating Scene-Take Two
9-Retying the Knot-or Not
10-When Life Hands You Limes, Make Mojitos



already, i want to skip ahead and read Chapter 3 right away....but i'm finishing up Chapter 1....the rest will come in time.

there is hope and healing for my heart.

on Sunday morning Carla and i tried out a new church. i see the signs for it everyday on my way to work, and although we have been "regularly" attending another church that we really like alot, we decided to try this new church out because it is a lot closer to home and we haven't really been warmly welcomed at the other church.

anyway. last Saturday night i got online to check on what time the service was and what to expect. the website was very helpful and i even got to see what the topic was for the next morning.

the headline was "When Marriages End".

so we went to the service the next morning and even though we realized that there weren't even 20 people that were attending the service [i.e. it's a new church and doesn't have very many members yet, but we spoke to practically everyone] the message was worth going for.

the Pastor opened with prayer and then looked out at all of us and said:

Within the Christian community sometimes I think that we know more of what to do and say when a marriage ends in death than when it ends in divorce.

i wanted to stand up right then and raise the roof and shout Hallelujah! but i didn't. i just nodded in agreement. to say that people realize the devastation of losing a spouse to death, but that they don't recognize the exact same devastation of losing a spouse by divorce.

it's part of the reason that i didn't go to my home church for any of the time that i moved back in with my mother. people just don't know what to say to you. i'm not saying that they are insensitive or judgmental (though some are and have been), i'm just saying that they aren't sure if you want to be sad about it or if they should be happy for you.

just once i would've loved for someone to ask me if i was going to be okay financially [the answer would've been 'NO! i don't have any money!' or to have asked me when was the last time i had a home-cooked meal [the answer would've been that i don't eat anything that isn't microwaved first]...

in a lot of ways what the pastor had to say about divorce was right on. he said that the number one thing about when a marriage ends in divorce is that there is always pain. there is always pain. yep. he got that one right. even though i may have been the one who needed to get out before i drowned in the agony of my marriage, it still hurt. it was still the singlemost painful experience in my life and i am still struggling with feelings of abandonment, inadequacy, insecurity, doubt, and uncertainty no matter how well i seem to be doing on the outside.

the main point that i loved that he made was this:

When a marriage ends in divorce, the church has a special call to those hurt by divorce. we have a special call to be a healer of the pain. If we believe that marriage is an incredible metaphor for the bride of Christ, if we believe that divorce brings pain to those involved with it, then our job as a church is one of two things: We can be a place to bring more pain in, where people come into a church and they feel worse about the path of their life than better or we can decide as a church to bring healing to the hurt.

the church needs to be a place that i can go where i won't feel judged because i am 23 and getting divorced. yes, it is most definitely unfortunate that my young little marriage didn't work out, that things were not worth salvaging, and that i may never be the same now that i am a divorcee, but it doesn't change the fact that Christ loves me the same now as He ever did [which is saying alot!]. it doesn't change the fact that i love Christ, more than ever before.

the final words that he said to us that really hit home for me were:

If you have been through the pains of divorce, I want to tell you that there is hope and healing for your heart, there's the chance for joy, there's a chance for love, and there is restoration.

i cannot wait to feel like i have been restored again, right now i feel like i'm in the wallows...i would've been married for two years this past tuesday. two years ago tonight i was in Costa Rica on my honeymoon. two years ago i was naive and thought that things were just starting to stabilize, that i was going to be able to make something out of an unhealthy relationship...we had fun moments, we had tense moments, but in the end, we didn't have enough to build on...

walking in the dark

since i was "let go" from my first full time job, i've been working close to 40 hours a week at the restaurant that i'd been working in before i got that full time job.

anyway.

working at the restaurant all day means that i am on my feet and walking around all day, but it also means that i am literally inside all day.

now that the weather is only describable as hot as hell outside, the restaurant has a hard time staying cool because of the grills and the opening and closing doors. but just being hot because it's hot out doesn't have the same effect as actually being outside enjoying nature.

i'm big into being outside, so when i get home at night i want to be outside.

tonight i ate dinner outside on our porch with Carla. it was lovely, but it wasn't enough. i wanted to go on a walk, so i got my cell phone (for safety), and set out for a nice little stroll by myself.

it was great except for the feeling that most people driving by were a little weirded out about seeing a woman out for a walk after dark by the road... but i used my time wisely by walking over to the community center that is really nearby and inquired about their weight room membership.

that's it.

yesterday was what would have been my 2nd wedding anniversary.

my idea was to get in great shape soon so that any pictures of me from this point forward are frickin awesome.

i love that i got outside tonight, regardless of the fact that i was on a walk alone, and i love that 2 years ago i was getting married, 1 year ago i was married [i'd be willing to say unhappily so], and here i am, unmarried and totally satisfied with my life and where it is headed.



now....i'm still brainstorming about how to rightly celebrate being unmarried in replacement of my 2 year wedding anniversary....

what did he do?

i know from my last two postings you're probably wondering what on earth he must've done to deserve having the word douchebag in such large font.

the truth is, he called me about a week ago, and all he did was be himself.

but being himself is basically the same as being a walking and talking douchebag, at least when it comes to how he interacts with me. i'm sure that during the day, while he's at work, he's pleasant and easily excitable as he tries to sell outdoor gear to the suckers who ask him for outdoor gear advice. but when he calls me and asks me when or if i sent the final divorce papers, he is in eXtreme-douchebag mode.

so he called about a week ago to ask if i had sent the last papers. i informed him that, Yes, i had sent the papers and yes, it took me about 3 weeks to find the time to get them notarized as i signed them, but they had indeed been signed, notarized, copied, and mailed to his lawyer as of 2 thursdays ago.

somehow we managed to have "conversation" for over 30 minutes. he asked about my sisters and my parents and my job and what-not. and fielded only a few of my own similar questions for him. i was sad to hear that he was in car accident over 4 weeks ago and actually had a concussion from it. and when i told him that i was sorry to hear that, his response gave me the vibe of "yeah right, like you give a shit about me, you left me".


when i hung up i had tears, the hot tears of anger and annoyance, in my eyes, and i just wanted to push him off of a cliff. for the millionth time i was reminded the reasons why i am SO thankful that i am no longer in that marriage.

actually.....scratch that Memo.....

memo: updated 6/5/08

To the Unhusband,

as per our conversation two nights ago, i just wanted to inform you that...

you are not even good enough to be a douchebag.





that is all.

love,
lisa

unconstructive

i think that i need some kind of ADD medicine in order to get things done once i get home.

actually, i think that it would ultimately help me in the workplace as well, even at the restaurant that i currently work at, because of all the multi-tasking that it takes in order to get things done.

it also doesn't help that doing lunch and dinner shifts at the restaurant means that i am dog-tired by the time that i get home and it makes me not want to do anything except eat and nap.

also,
i got a kitten.

she is certifiably insane.

all she wants to do is bite my hands, 24/7.


but she is super cute, and i named her Peppy. she makes me happy, she sleeps on my pillow next to my head and purrs whenever i move, that is her one redeeming quality. that, and the sheer fact that having her means that Seth can't say BOO about it because he had me resigned to the fact that i would never have a kitten or a cat because he was allergic.

sneeze on this Peppy, Seth! take some damn claritin and shut up!


:)

i need shoes

i need new shoes.

seriously, i have only one pair of shoes that are appropriate for dressing up for work. i think i wear them 3/5 days a week.

on fridays i can wear whatever i want b/c it's casual friday, but i need new shoes that are closed toes and medium height heels, but it seems whenever i go to the store i can't find a single pair that don't look like they were:

a) made for a 13 year old or
b) made for a prostitute or
c) made for a 13 year old prostitute?!

anyway......

maybe i should do some online window shopping so that i don't have to waste my time driving to the store to see what they have. yes. online window shopping it is.

now i have my new side-goal for life in the cubicle tomorrow. SHOES!


:)

whirlwind

my life since i started my full-time job has definitely been a BIG change, and honestly, i'm not sure how i feel about it.

gotta be honest:

i don't like sitting all day.
i don't like sitting in a cubicle all day.
i don't like sitting in a cubicle all day talking to people on the phone.
i don't like sitting in a cubicle all day talking to people on the phone without talking to hardly anyone else in person.

sucks.

what's worse is that my cube is so far deep into the room that, if i didn't have to ask my co-workers' any questions about the procedures i wouldn't know what the weather was like outside.

it's a little depressing.

also,
i don't have time to blog or read blogs.

and it makes me sad.

:(


also. i missed one day of work, i missed 30 minutes of work another day, and according to the employee handbook, if i am late or miss work one more time until April 1 2009 TWO-THOUSAND-NINE, i can be terminated.

awesome.

i've not even been there a month, and i'm on my "final warning". Shit.

alphonso and teen pregnancy

i've been somewhat thrown by this whole, "not having a job-therefore- having nothing to do" thing phase that i am experiencing.

i've been staying up too late, sitting on the computer a little TOO long (i.e. ALL DAY LONG), and eating when i shouldn't be eating (i.e. 2:00 in the a.m.)...

but something has got to give, i mean, i have applied for let's count: 12 different jobs.

12 resumes, 12 cover letters (okay, not quite 12 cover letters, those are a beast to turn out), and you'd think that SOMEONE would have called me for an interview. i think that tomorrow i am going to have to turn it out and CALL some of these places to try and follow up their receiving my application/resume/combo.

finding a job is so aggravating.

i spent the better part of my day trying to line up a few babysitting jobs to help out with the bills that are due this week, so at least that much of my day was productive.

and tonight i went with a friend to an intellectual symposium about the negative stereotype given to Arabs in movies and t.v. it was pretty interesting and i especially perked up when they used Aladdin as a prime example of how Hollywood uses the same stereotypes over and over to show Middle-Easterners as barbaric and less than human.

it was a pretty intense discussion, so my friend Anny and i crept out about halfway in and went to catch the 9:10 showing of Juno. on our walk over, we were passing a homeless man when he asked us if we had money. i never ever carry cash, and Anny said that she didn't either, not that we wanted to give him cash, but Anny and i almost passed on by without saying anything to the man, when Anny turned around and went back to him and asked him what the last thing he ate was and when, and he said yesterday morning he had a donut someone gave him.

turns out we were standing outside of a bar that served a basic menu, so she asked him what he wanted and she and i went in and ordered it for him, paid for it, and took it out and served it to him. He said his name was Alphonso and that he was 53 years old. He'd been in the Army when he was younger and had seen Luxembourg and Germany, and he pointed at us and said that the best women were still the American women. before we left i shook his hand and told him to enjoy his cheeseburger and fries before they got cold. Anny shook his hand too, and when we got to the movies, i stopped and realized that we may have been some of the only people to actually touch this man in a long time. and it made me sad for Alphonso.

and Juno, oh oh oh, how i recommend it. last night i fell asleep watching Saved, and tonight, i saw Juno, i think it's funny that i watched 2 movies about pregnant 16 year olds two, nights in a row.

it was wonderful, and when i am fully rested tomorrow, i will write a little more about why i loved it so. as for now, adieu.

tagged

i got tagged by Two Date Diva and Princess B to reveal a bit more about myself so while i am still gathering my thoughts about the wedding weekend, i thought i'd go ahead and reveal more about myself.

The rules for this particular game:
-Link to the person who tagged you.
-Post the rules on your blog.
-Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
-Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
-Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


1. i stopped capitalizing my name when i was in the 10 grade, i never capitalize it. ever. this also carried into un-capitalizing "I" when i write about myself. i did it to be humble, now i do it because i don't like the way capital letters loom over the other letters, like they're Godzilla or something.

2. i bought a new Betta fish last week, picked out the prettiest one, because i wanted to get a new one for the new townhome, left for the wedding weekend, Lancelot was dead. me=worst fish Mom ever.

3. i hate bread. i will only eat bread when it is proportionately balanced with other things: a sandwich is okay as long as there is enough meat/lettuce/condiments to take away from the breadiness of the bread. i do not enjoy rolls, biscuits, cornbread, toast, and even, dare i say, cake. sometimes cake can be too bready.

4. someone told me that i look like Anne Frank with blonde hair when i was in the 8th grade, i have never forgotten it. and honestly, i can see it.

5. this is listed on the sidebar, but i really do have a baby tooth that will never fall out. it's my upper-right canine-tooth. there is no permanent tooth there to push it out, so i have a little souvenir from my childhood with me all the time. that is, until i get some damn-good dental insurance so that i can get some porcelain veneers.

6. all the names on this blog have been changed for my own peace-of-mind. i came up with Lisa because i love to watch the Simpsons, and Seth because it was the name of the boy i used to like when i was in 5th grade. i hope that this doesn't mean you won't read my blog anymore, but i had to change all the names so that i could write freely and without feeling like i had to hold-back. no one i actually know has been given the link to my "secret" blog, except Carla. she reads it.

i'm tagging:

no one for now.

i have to think about who hasn't been tagged, and who i want to tag!