it's funny when you are jolted awake by your roommate at 6:20 am.
Carla:
Leeeese! I heard crying outside and I am too scared to go to my car.
me:
whuaa?
Carla:
I hear noises every morning and sometimes it spooks me out, but I was just in the kitchen and that noise was RIGHT outside. I cannot open the door and knowingly go outside.
me:
[jumps out of bed, pulls some pants on]
okay.
we walk downstairs, open the front door, there is nothing to be noted. one of our neighbors is walking to his car, a few houses down. no explanations for the 'crying' noise.
Carla:
okay, thanks. sorry to wake you up.
me:
buuuuuuuuuuh. [zombie noise]
as i climbed the stairs back to my room, i shuttle my cat back into the room so that i can lock the door. then i promptly got scared.
it wouldn't have gotten to me except that Carla had described it as 'crying'. something is 'beeping', something is 'banging', something is 'knocking', those i could deal with.
crying? i don't do ghosts or wild animals with creepy noises. also in this category would be any type of neighbor who takes their morning walk to cry on our porch. so yeah, then i started freaking out.
this is when i wish there was a man in the house, so that he can change my oil and go scare the weeping ghosts from our front porch. boo!
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Saturday, September 13, 2008
iowa and home again
so i spent the last week in the great state of Iowa helping with flood relief. the flooding happened on June 12, and there are still houses that haven't been touched!
i had to have some serious talks with myself so that i would actually come back to NC and not stay in Iowa indefinitely.
reasons why i couldn't stay there:
-no income (car bill, rent (no way i would get a subleaser!), student loans, utilities, car insurance, cell phone!)
-too far from people i really love
-no car
-sleeping on an air mattress is only fun in short amounts of time
-losing my job here b/c it would be 'irresponsible' for me to just not show up for a few weeks.
it really came down to the fact that i have bills to pay. if i had a guaranteed way to make money while volunteering (i.e. freelance writing or something fun), i would have stayed for sure. alas, i had to come back, and even though i miss Iowa ferociously, i am glad to be back, glad to get back to normal, and now i am daydreaming about my next Disaster Relief opportunity (not that i'm hoping for them, but natural disasters are bound to happen!)
i had to have some serious talks with myself so that i would actually come back to NC and not stay in Iowa indefinitely.
reasons why i couldn't stay there:
-no income (car bill, rent (no way i would get a subleaser!), student loans, utilities, car insurance, cell phone!)
-too far from people i really love
-no car
-sleeping on an air mattress is only fun in short amounts of time
-losing my job here b/c it would be 'irresponsible' for me to just not show up for a few weeks.
it really came down to the fact that i have bills to pay. if i had a guaranteed way to make money while volunteering (i.e. freelance writing or something fun), i would have stayed for sure. alas, i had to come back, and even though i miss Iowa ferociously, i am glad to be back, glad to get back to normal, and now i am daydreaming about my next Disaster Relief opportunity (not that i'm hoping for them, but natural disasters are bound to happen!)
Sunday, August 24, 2008
3 weddings in 2008
a real wedding, a fake wedding, and a fast wedding:
the real one was the one that i wrote about earlier this year, the one in which hijinks and hilarity ensued.
the fake one was the one that i went to yesterday, the one where the couple has been married for a year and a half but "needed" to have a church ceremony.
and the fast one is one that i will be going to (not a part of) in November, i say fast because they got engaged Aug 4 and their wedding date is Nov 22.
a little more about the fake one:
i say fake for several reasons 1-they eloped to Las Vegas over a year and a half ago and have already been officially & legally married since then. 2-i don't really think they love each other. she needed a reason to move to America and become a U.S. citizen. i'm betting that it doesn't last very long once she's officially a real 'Merican. i also say this because i know for a fact that her husband is a creepy, perverted, repressed douchebag and is not someone worth marrying. 3-it was super lame.
it was a Catholic ceremony, the first Catholic ceremony that i've ever been to. needless to say i was a little lost, but i was sitting with a friend who is Catholic (albeit she hadn't been to church in over 10 years)....and she was able to help me navigate through. i noticed that the bride and groom weren't even touching each other, much less looking at each other, and so i asked my friend if that was part of the custom. she said that it was, and that they would eventually be prompted to hold hands by the priest....but even once the big P told them to hold hands, etc, they looked uncomfortable with each other. i don't know, it was very very telling.
funny note: they had Communion, with real wine (my church uses grape juice and we don't really believe that we are drinking blood and eating flesh), and while i refrained from partaking in the sacrament b/c i'm not Catholic and didn't want to offend anyone. but what cracked me up was when Communion was over and the kid (he looked to be just about 21) who was helping the priest had to drink the rest of wine. almost no one took Communion, so he was up there, just drinking away. and it cracked me up!! so funny. to me....anyway.
at the dinner after the ceremony, i sat with one friend, but we were sitting beside 2 strangers. as we got to know these two stranger ladies that were seated beside us, i came to find out that the girl beside me was married, unhappily married. it didn't take long before i just enlightened her on my life post-unmarriedment. and she was enthralled. she was like, everything you're saying is something i have thought over and over for the past year and a half...... i gave her my number and my email address, she said she felt bad for talking about divorce at a wedding reception. but i told her that there's never a bad time to be honest about stuff. and as many people as we know getting married, there are going to be unhappy couples. it's just the statistics..
i'm looking forward to the 'fast' wedding in November. although their engagement is going to be short, i'm sure that their wedding will be simple but fun! they've dated for over a year and he's a preacher and she's a teacher. yes, they are also innately cheesy folks, but i absolutely adore this girl and i know that she is really going to be happy with her man.
as far as i know i should only have 3 weddings for 2008...on the docket for 2009, i've got 2 weddings already: May and July.....i wonder how many more there will be!
the real one was the one that i wrote about earlier this year, the one in which hijinks and hilarity ensued.
the fake one was the one that i went to yesterday, the one where the couple has been married for a year and a half but "needed" to have a church ceremony.
and the fast one is one that i will be going to (not a part of) in November, i say fast because they got engaged Aug 4 and their wedding date is Nov 22.
a little more about the fake one:
i say fake for several reasons 1-they eloped to Las Vegas over a year and a half ago and have already been officially & legally married since then. 2-i don't really think they love each other. she needed a reason to move to America and become a U.S. citizen. i'm betting that it doesn't last very long once she's officially a real 'Merican. i also say this because i know for a fact that her husband is a creepy, perverted, repressed douchebag and is not someone worth marrying. 3-it was super lame.
it was a Catholic ceremony, the first Catholic ceremony that i've ever been to. needless to say i was a little lost, but i was sitting with a friend who is Catholic (albeit she hadn't been to church in over 10 years)....and she was able to help me navigate through. i noticed that the bride and groom weren't even touching each other, much less looking at each other, and so i asked my friend if that was part of the custom. she said that it was, and that they would eventually be prompted to hold hands by the priest....but even once the big P told them to hold hands, etc, they looked uncomfortable with each other. i don't know, it was very very telling.
funny note: they had Communion, with real wine (my church uses grape juice and we don't really believe that we are drinking blood and eating flesh), and while i refrained from partaking in the sacrament b/c i'm not Catholic and didn't want to offend anyone. but what cracked me up was when Communion was over and the kid (he looked to be just about 21) who was helping the priest had to drink the rest of wine. almost no one took Communion, so he was up there, just drinking away. and it cracked me up!! so funny. to me....anyway.
at the dinner after the ceremony, i sat with one friend, but we were sitting beside 2 strangers. as we got to know these two stranger ladies that were seated beside us, i came to find out that the girl beside me was married, unhappily married. it didn't take long before i just enlightened her on my life post-unmarriedment. and she was enthralled. she was like, everything you're saying is something i have thought over and over for the past year and a half...... i gave her my number and my email address, she said she felt bad for talking about divorce at a wedding reception. but i told her that there's never a bad time to be honest about stuff. and as many people as we know getting married, there are going to be unhappy couples. it's just the statistics..
i'm looking forward to the 'fast' wedding in November. although their engagement is going to be short, i'm sure that their wedding will be simple but fun! they've dated for over a year and he's a preacher and she's a teacher. yes, they are also innately cheesy folks, but i absolutely adore this girl and i know that she is really going to be happy with her man.
as far as i know i should only have 3 weddings for 2008...on the docket for 2009, i've got 2 weddings already: May and July.....i wonder how many more there will be!
Monday, August 18, 2008
first day joyfulness
i am usually quick to jump to conclusions about the new things in my life, i.e.:
"i love my new job"-i was fired 5 weeks later.
"getting married is the next step for sure"-well, we all know this didn't exactly pan out.
"this guy is awesome and i think i can get serious with him"-most single guys are douchebags....and it takes too long to sort them out [they should wear nametags: "Hello! I'm James, (Douchebag)"
but today i had my first day on my new nanny job and i really really enjoyed it a LOT. i don't want to make any grandiose statements like "I love it and want to do it forever..." or "It's PERFECT", but today did go really really well.
last fall when i was still married, i was a nanny for a family with a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old and it was SO challenging.
first of all they didn't have a very big home, so i rotated from the kitchen to the living room to the upstairs kid's room and somedays i was inside their house from 8 am to 6 pm and it made me crazy.
secondly, the dad worked from home, so he was always in the next room, which had its upsides, but definitely made me feel like i was being chaperoned on my own job.
thirdly they had a LOT of restrictions for their kids, like organic foods, no tv, closed circuit tv baby monitors (so i could actually watch the kids take naps w/o being in the room, it always made me feel creepy)......
the family that i started with today has very similar guidelines, like the fresh foods, nothing fried, no tv, but they're more relaxed about things like no baby monitors i just have to keep an ear out, no coddling (it makes the kids much more mature and accepting about things if they don't go their way, it's hard but it really helps them understand SO much more!)
and at the end of the day, when the mom came home, the baby didn't want me to leave! which was GREAT because she normally has a hard time adjusting to people! it was so precious to be missed before i'd even gone out the door!
while i am avoiding saying that i had a super-awesome-great day, i really enjoyed my first day on the new job and i am actually looking forward to waking up at an ungodly hour tomorrow to face my second day! yippy!
"i love my new job"-i was fired 5 weeks later.
"getting married is the next step for sure"-well, we all know this didn't exactly pan out.
"this guy is awesome and i think i can get serious with him"-most single guys are douchebags....and it takes too long to sort them out [they should wear nametags: "Hello! I'm James, (Douchebag)"
but today i had my first day on my new nanny job and i really really enjoyed it a LOT. i don't want to make any grandiose statements like "I love it and want to do it forever..." or "It's PERFECT", but today did go really really well.
last fall when i was still married, i was a nanny for a family with a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old and it was SO challenging.
first of all they didn't have a very big home, so i rotated from the kitchen to the living room to the upstairs kid's room and somedays i was inside their house from 8 am to 6 pm and it made me crazy.
secondly, the dad worked from home, so he was always in the next room, which had its upsides, but definitely made me feel like i was being chaperoned on my own job.
thirdly they had a LOT of restrictions for their kids, like organic foods, no tv, closed circuit tv baby monitors (so i could actually watch the kids take naps w/o being in the room, it always made me feel creepy)......
the family that i started with today has very similar guidelines, like the fresh foods, nothing fried, no tv, but they're more relaxed about things like no baby monitors i just have to keep an ear out, no coddling (it makes the kids much more mature and accepting about things if they don't go their way, it's hard but it really helps them understand SO much more!)
and at the end of the day, when the mom came home, the baby didn't want me to leave! which was GREAT because she normally has a hard time adjusting to people! it was so precious to be missed before i'd even gone out the door!
while i am avoiding saying that i had a super-awesome-great day, i really enjoyed my first day on the new job and i am actually looking forward to waking up at an ungodly hour tomorrow to face my second day! yippy!
Friday, August 15, 2008
prolonged singleness
let's review:
first boyfriend, the Outcast: dated from March 1999-May 1999 (9th grade!!!). broke up with him b/c he wanted to put his hand up my shirt and he wasn't a Christian (said i was weak because i was a Christian).
singleness: lasted from May to July, approximately 2 months.
second boyfriend, the Jock: dated from July 1999-February 2000. broke up a few days before Valentines. found out he was dating someone new one week later.
singleness: lasted from Feb 2000 to May 2000, approximately 2 months.
third boyfriend, the Heart-Throb: dated from March 2001-March 2002. but we practically dated from May 2000 to April 2002. he was my first real love, but he was too needy, and unfortunately, now he's a tool! why do the good ones go rotten?
singleness: lasted from April 2002 to June 2002, approximately 2 months.
fourth boyfriend, the OverKill Christian: dated from June 2002-September 2002. i knew he was an outspoken conservative Christian when we met, but seriously, you have never seen someone so naive to the real world. broke up with him over dinner in the cafeteria at college.
singleness: lasted from September 2002 to January 2003, approximately 4 months.
fifth boyfriend, i.e. the Unhusband: dated from 2003 to 2005, got engaged, engaged for a year, then married in June 2006. married for a year and 4 months, ended October 2007. total togetherness: 5 years almost.
singleness: lasted from October 2007 to March 2008, approximately 5 months (which was best because i was a MESS)
sixth boyfriend, the Depresso: dated from March 2008 to May 2008. i think he was definitely my "rebound" boyfriend. what was i thinking? i knew nothing about him!
currently single after that lame break-up.
do you notice the pattern that i do? i am usually only single for 2-4 months and then i'm off the market indeterminably. i recognized this pattern and shared my concern with my ever-so-fabulous roommate Carla, and we both think it might be interesting for me to be single for a while, just to see what happens.
i never really thought i was one of those women who "doesn't like to be alone", but looking at that pattern, it makes me feel like a cheesy, overly dependent wuss-woman. i'm kind of excited to see what i can come up with when left to my own devices for more than a few months.........and it's kind of nice to keep my options open for a bit. it doesn't mean i won't enjoy the men that are in my life, but i just won't be tying myself down for a while.
first boyfriend, the Outcast: dated from March 1999-May 1999 (9th grade!!!). broke up with him b/c he wanted to put his hand up my shirt and he wasn't a Christian (said i was weak because i was a Christian).
singleness: lasted from May to July, approximately 2 months.
second boyfriend, the Jock: dated from July 1999-February 2000. broke up a few days before Valentines. found out he was dating someone new one week later.
singleness: lasted from Feb 2000 to May 2000, approximately 2 months.
third boyfriend, the Heart-Throb: dated from March 2001-March 2002. but we practically dated from May 2000 to April 2002. he was my first real love, but he was too needy, and unfortunately, now he's a tool! why do the good ones go rotten?
singleness: lasted from April 2002 to June 2002, approximately 2 months.
fourth boyfriend, the OverKill Christian: dated from June 2002-September 2002. i knew he was an outspoken conservative Christian when we met, but seriously, you have never seen someone so naive to the real world. broke up with him over dinner in the cafeteria at college.
singleness: lasted from September 2002 to January 2003, approximately 4 months.
fifth boyfriend, i.e. the Unhusband: dated from 2003 to 2005, got engaged, engaged for a year, then married in June 2006. married for a year and 4 months, ended October 2007. total togetherness: 5 years almost.
singleness: lasted from October 2007 to March 2008, approximately 5 months (which was best because i was a MESS)
sixth boyfriend, the Depresso: dated from March 2008 to May 2008. i think he was definitely my "rebound" boyfriend. what was i thinking? i knew nothing about him!
currently single after that lame break-up.
do you notice the pattern that i do? i am usually only single for 2-4 months and then i'm off the market indeterminably. i recognized this pattern and shared my concern with my ever-so-fabulous roommate Carla, and we both think it might be interesting for me to be single for a while, just to see what happens.
i never really thought i was one of those women who "doesn't like to be alone", but looking at that pattern, it makes me feel like a cheesy, overly dependent wuss-woman. i'm kind of excited to see what i can come up with when left to my own devices for more than a few months.........and it's kind of nice to keep my options open for a bit. it doesn't mean i won't enjoy the men that are in my life, but i just won't be tying myself down for a while.
Friday, July 18, 2008
a little affirmation
so the last time that i wrote about my unmarried papers, i was wrong in assuming that those were the 'last' papers. it turns out that i had to sign one more set of papers, supposedly the LAST ones.
i took it to the Kinko's so i could make copies of them before sending them away, and i also needed to send a fax. i stepped up to the counter and handed the man my papers, i said that i needed just one copy, and that they were legal papers so i'd need to make sure they didn't get out of order.
he smiled and helped me make the copies. then he smiled and helped me send the fax.
his manager walked over at just about the time i was finishing up the fax and he asked me how i was doing.
i told him i was doing great! that i had just finalized my divorce and that freedom was soon on its way!
he smiled and said that he was glad that i was glad and he hoped i had an excellent day.
i asked how much i owed him for the copies and fax, and he said again, have an excellent day.
he didn't charge me.
even though it was just a small amount of money that he saved me, it was really really nice of them to encourage me and to tell me to have an excellent day.
i guess it's karma!
i took it to the Kinko's so i could make copies of them before sending them away, and i also needed to send a fax. i stepped up to the counter and handed the man my papers, i said that i needed just one copy, and that they were legal papers so i'd need to make sure they didn't get out of order.
he smiled and helped me make the copies. then he smiled and helped me send the fax.
his manager walked over at just about the time i was finishing up the fax and he asked me how i was doing.
i told him i was doing great! that i had just finalized my divorce and that freedom was soon on its way!
he smiled and said that he was glad that i was glad and he hoped i had an excellent day.
i asked how much i owed him for the copies and fax, and he said again, have an excellent day.
he didn't charge me.
even though it was just a small amount of money that he saved me, it was really really nice of them to encourage me and to tell me to have an excellent day.
i guess it's karma!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
love of my life
this is my sweet baby.
i said i would get a kitten.
i did.
i love her.
her name is Peppy, which fits perfectly b/c she is SO energetic.
about 8 weeks old here....being cute and cuddly.
this was taken today, she was lounging as the sun went down. she's about 12 weeks old now.
she likes to wait for me to play with her when i am on my laptop. check those green eyes! j'adore!
i said i would get a kitten.
i did.
i love her.
her name is Peppy, which fits perfectly b/c she is SO energetic.
about 8 weeks old here....being cute and cuddly.
this was taken today, she was lounging as the sun went down. she's about 12 weeks old now.
she likes to wait for me to play with her when i am on my laptop. check those green eyes! j'adore!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
running til you fall down
i have goals for myself, which include running a half marathon sometime in the next year, in addition to training for and running a marathon sometime in the next 3 years.
this being said, i went for a run tonight.
the weather was perfect for a nice early evening run, so i put my hair up, clipped back the hair that would fall down, wore a sports bra, laced up my running shoes, stretched a little inside the house, and finally leapt off of my front step and into my running form.
i was off and running. i had a good pace. i decided to run for at least 15 minutes, and to try and do so without walking.
i went down the street, around the block and when i got back to my starting point, i dared to look at my watch timer:
3:30.
i had only been running for 3 minutes and 30 seconds.
so i circled the same route again, noticing how my pace was slowly declining in speed.
i decided that i would go down a couple of extra streets in my neighborhood in order to make the time pass faster and add in some distance.
i got back to my starting point again, certain that i had just passed the 10 minute mark.
i looked at my watch:
6:30.
how on earth?! what?! okay, keep moving, just run until you feel like it's been 4 more minutes. instead of 15, it's okay if i only did 10. my body was giving me the ole RED FLAG.
i ran some more. i rounded corners, passed people walking their dogs, crossed streets, waved at strangers carrying their groceries inside, and finally, i was back on my street, sure that i'd passed the time and that i had CERTAINLY passed the 10 minute mark and it was now okay for me to go inside and get some water.
as i slowed down to stop, my legs felt extra wobbly, and because i know my body, i knew that if i didn't get inside ASAP i would be likely to cause a scene by passing out in my neighbor's yard.
luckily, my wobbly legs guided me up my front-steps, i successfully opened my front door and got inside just in time to lay face down on the floor of my dining room. i never fully passed out, but i'd say if i hadn't gotten my shoes off and regulated my breathing, i may have just blacked out altogether.
total running time: 12:22. GO ME!
too bad i felt like i was having hot flashes and i was also having flashbacks to the "mile-run" in grade-school......
well, they say baby-steps. i guess 12 minutes compared to a marathon would definitely qualify as baby-steps!
this being said, i went for a run tonight.
the weather was perfect for a nice early evening run, so i put my hair up, clipped back the hair that would fall down, wore a sports bra, laced up my running shoes, stretched a little inside the house, and finally leapt off of my front step and into my running form.
i was off and running. i had a good pace. i decided to run for at least 15 minutes, and to try and do so without walking.
i went down the street, around the block and when i got back to my starting point, i dared to look at my watch timer:
3:30.
i had only been running for 3 minutes and 30 seconds.
so i circled the same route again, noticing how my pace was slowly declining in speed.
i decided that i would go down a couple of extra streets in my neighborhood in order to make the time pass faster and add in some distance.
i got back to my starting point again, certain that i had just passed the 10 minute mark.
i looked at my watch:
6:30.
how on earth?! what?! okay, keep moving, just run until you feel like it's been 4 more minutes. instead of 15, it's okay if i only did 10. my body was giving me the ole RED FLAG.
i ran some more. i rounded corners, passed people walking their dogs, crossed streets, waved at strangers carrying their groceries inside, and finally, i was back on my street, sure that i'd passed the time and that i had CERTAINLY passed the 10 minute mark and it was now okay for me to go inside and get some water.
as i slowed down to stop, my legs felt extra wobbly, and because i know my body, i knew that if i didn't get inside ASAP i would be likely to cause a scene by passing out in my neighbor's yard.
luckily, my wobbly legs guided me up my front-steps, i successfully opened my front door and got inside just in time to lay face down on the floor of my dining room. i never fully passed out, but i'd say if i hadn't gotten my shoes off and regulated my breathing, i may have just blacked out altogether.
total running time: 12:22. GO ME!
too bad i felt like i was having hot flashes and i was also having flashbacks to the "mile-run" in grade-school......
well, they say baby-steps. i guess 12 minutes compared to a marathon would definitely qualify as baby-steps!
Monday, March 10, 2008
first day jitters
i am SO nervous about my first day at my real job!!!!!!
i am sure that there are not going to be dragons or warfare or ninjas hiding under my desk, but i am just nervous about how i'll be dressed [business casual], and if i filled out my paperwork correctly [my last name is going to be changing in less than 2 months AND i filed Single]......
so the butterflies are fluttering a little bit in my stomach this morning, and i also don't know what i'll have to eat this morning or if i have time to eat something. clearly, i found time to blog, but i am not sure if i will make time to eat.......!!!!!!!
anyway,
i am sure i will blog about it first thing when i get home this evening....which is after i go to the restaurant to work a dinner shift............yes, i'm keeping the 2 jobs, at least for a little while, i love the restaurant.
wish me luck!
i am sure that there are not going to be dragons or warfare or ninjas hiding under my desk, but i am just nervous about how i'll be dressed [business casual], and if i filled out my paperwork correctly [my last name is going to be changing in less than 2 months AND i filed Single]......
so the butterflies are fluttering a little bit in my stomach this morning, and i also don't know what i'll have to eat this morning or if i have time to eat something. clearly, i found time to blog, but i am not sure if i will make time to eat.......!!!!!!!
anyway,
i am sure i will blog about it first thing when i get home this evening....which is after i go to the restaurant to work a dinner shift............yes, i'm keeping the 2 jobs, at least for a little while, i love the restaurant.
wish me luck!
Monday, March 3, 2008
reason # 29,347
tonight gave me reason #29,347 that i need to get new glasses once i start my new job (with medical insurance) next week.
if you have a queasy stomach, you should just skip the next paragraph.
i got food poisoning and i had to pull my car over and park it in an empty parking lot. i got out and got in the grass to where no one could see me retching my guts out [sorry for the visual]. well, i go forward a little to ensure that splattering doesn't occur, and my glasses flew off of my face and into my own puke. i had to clean them off while telling myself that grosser things have happened, but i couldn't get over my initial thought of:
totally gross!
the thing is i love my glasses, well, the way that they look on my face anyway. they are very flattering, if i do say so myself. but, the problem is somewhere in the "arms" of the glasses. they don't have any grip, and they aren't curved enough to grab onto my ears if i bend over. thus, they slide off of my face ALL the time. it's very irritating.
reason #21,304 was when i was on an airplane and i was in the plane's bathroom, and i leaned over to get the paper towels and my glasses slid off of my face and almost, ALMOST landed in the swirling blue water that spun in the plane's toilet. thank the LORD i have cat-like reflexes and i caught them as they flew through the air.
this is why i try to wear my contacts 99.9% of the time. my patience with my glasses is just OUT.
thank goodness i have Carla because Carla is an RN and she took care of me all night for the 3 hours that it took for me to feel normalized again. now i'm all better, at least, better enough to write an entry here! :)
if you have a queasy stomach, you should just skip the next paragraph.
i got food poisoning and i had to pull my car over and park it in an empty parking lot. i got out and got in the grass to where no one could see me retching my guts out [sorry for the visual]. well, i go forward a little to ensure that splattering doesn't occur, and my glasses flew off of my face and into my own puke. i had to clean them off while telling myself that grosser things have happened, but i couldn't get over my initial thought of:
totally gross!
the thing is i love my glasses, well, the way that they look on my face anyway. they are very flattering, if i do say so myself. but, the problem is somewhere in the "arms" of the glasses. they don't have any grip, and they aren't curved enough to grab onto my ears if i bend over. thus, they slide off of my face ALL the time. it's very irritating.
reason #21,304 was when i was on an airplane and i was in the plane's bathroom, and i leaned over to get the paper towels and my glasses slid off of my face and almost, ALMOST landed in the swirling blue water that spun in the plane's toilet. thank the LORD i have cat-like reflexes and i caught them as they flew through the air.
this is why i try to wear my contacts 99.9% of the time. my patience with my glasses is just OUT.
thank goodness i have Carla because Carla is an RN and she took care of me all night for the 3 hours that it took for me to feel normalized again. now i'm all better, at least, better enough to write an entry here! :)
Friday, February 29, 2008
chester
i'm not sure about what your schoolyard sayings might have included, but here in North Carolina, we had one for pervy old men.
say there were to be a creepy man watching kids playing on a playground. this guy isn't there to pick up his own children, he isn't there to meet anyone, but while you're playing kickball and tagging your friends, he's in his car watching.
we called this guy Chester, Chester Child Molester. if you say it right, it rhymes perfectly, and it's funny.
anyway, it's not really something that many people say during their average day. that is, unless you are me or Carla.
we have adopted the word "Chester" to describe many things in various situations.
example 1:
chester
lisa-"Chester McGee over there won't stop staring at me, even though he's wearing a wedding band. bluh."
carla-"all men are chesters."
example 2:
chesting
lisa-"Where's Nick?"
carla-"He's over at the bar, chesting it up with the bartender. I think he's trying to get her number."
example 3:
chestering
carla-"What are you doing Lisa? are you chestering around the internet?"
lisa-"I hardly consider typing emails and IMs to over 7 different men to be chestering around....okay, yes, i'm chestering around the internet. so sue me."
example 4:
totally chest
carla-"Did you really let that guy grab your ass?"
lisa-"Yes, and it was totally chest. it won't happen again."
example 5:
chestosterone
lisa-"do you see the guy with the huge gold cross necklace, and the backwards hat, and the lazy eye over at the bar? he keeps checking you out...."
carla-"EW. he has too much chestosterone for his own good."
you'd be surprised how often you can actually use the word chester in everyday interactions.
CHESTER WEEKEND CHALLENGE:
notice the chesters all around you, notice the small interactions you have with these chesters, and when given the chance, describe this using the word chester. i promise you that you can find ways to use it all day long, you just have to look for it.
maybe you can come up with your own context to use chester in, if you do, please share!
say there were to be a creepy man watching kids playing on a playground. this guy isn't there to pick up his own children, he isn't there to meet anyone, but while you're playing kickball and tagging your friends, he's in his car watching.
we called this guy Chester, Chester Child Molester. if you say it right, it rhymes perfectly, and it's funny.
anyway, it's not really something that many people say during their average day. that is, unless you are me or Carla.
we have adopted the word "Chester" to describe many things in various situations.
example 1:
chester
lisa-"Chester McGee over there won't stop staring at me, even though he's wearing a wedding band. bluh."
carla-"all men are chesters."
example 2:
chesting
lisa-"Where's Nick?"
carla-"He's over at the bar, chesting it up with the bartender. I think he's trying to get her number."
example 3:
chestering
carla-"What are you doing Lisa? are you chestering around the internet?"
lisa-"I hardly consider typing emails and IMs to over 7 different men to be chestering around....okay, yes, i'm chestering around the internet. so sue me."
example 4:
totally chest
carla-"Did you really let that guy grab your ass?"
lisa-"Yes, and it was totally chest. it won't happen again."
example 5:
chestosterone
lisa-"do you see the guy with the huge gold cross necklace, and the backwards hat, and the lazy eye over at the bar? he keeps checking you out...."
carla-"EW. he has too much chestosterone for his own good."
you'd be surprised how often you can actually use the word chester in everyday interactions.
CHESTER WEEKEND CHALLENGE:
notice the chesters all around you, notice the small interactions you have with these chesters, and when given the chance, describe this using the word chester. i promise you that you can find ways to use it all day long, you just have to look for it.
maybe you can come up with your own context to use chester in, if you do, please share!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
in the bag
THE INTERVIEW:
the fact that my interview today was my very first interview for a professional, full-time, benefits included j-o-b should have been a factor in my nervousness beforehand, but honestly, i felt really fine.
i got my resume and references together, grabbed some blank paper and a pen, put them in a folder, got in the car and drove the 10 minutes to get there. i parked, checked in with the secretary, and within 5 minutes, i was shaking hands with a very pleasant woman named Lacy.
Lacy is actually the person who would be my boss if i were hired. She asked me about 10 different questions: Why do you want to get into this buisness? What personality traits would make you a good representative for our company? How would you describe our company and our products to someone who hasn't heard of it before? What kind of boss do you work well with? What kind of environment do you see yourself being most productive in?
so i answered her questions, making sure that i was thorough without talking endlessly. i also made sure that i presented myself well, being honest about my strengths and weaknesses. even as i sat there, i thought to myself, i have totally got this job.
i really don't like to be cocky, i don't like to come across as some arrogant jerk who thinks too highly of herself. but sometimes, i just get that feeling. i don't often like to say it out loud because then i may be disappointed if things don't work out and/or i may have to eat my words, etc. but seriously. i think i have this job in the bag.
by the time i left i felt like i had connected with Lacy enough to know that if she could've she would've hired me right on the spot. too bad i have to go back for another interview with Lacy's boss Richard in order to be hired for real.
oh well, that's just another interview i'll ace.
i forgot to mention that this job is in book publishing! my first love! reading! :)
:) today was a great day!
***i've been messing with the layout/colors/everything a little too much for one day, so although i am not totally thrilled with this final result, i think i am going to keep it this way for a while until i can assess it further.
the fact that my interview today was my very first interview for a professional, full-time, benefits included j-o-b should have been a factor in my nervousness beforehand, but honestly, i felt really fine.
i got my resume and references together, grabbed some blank paper and a pen, put them in a folder, got in the car and drove the 10 minutes to get there. i parked, checked in with the secretary, and within 5 minutes, i was shaking hands with a very pleasant woman named Lacy.
Lacy is actually the person who would be my boss if i were hired. She asked me about 10 different questions: Why do you want to get into this buisness? What personality traits would make you a good representative for our company? How would you describe our company and our products to someone who hasn't heard of it before? What kind of boss do you work well with? What kind of environment do you see yourself being most productive in?
so i answered her questions, making sure that i was thorough without talking endlessly. i also made sure that i presented myself well, being honest about my strengths and weaknesses. even as i sat there, i thought to myself, i have totally got this job.
i really don't like to be cocky, i don't like to come across as some arrogant jerk who thinks too highly of herself. but sometimes, i just get that feeling. i don't often like to say it out loud because then i may be disappointed if things don't work out and/or i may have to eat my words, etc. but seriously. i think i have this job in the bag.
by the time i left i felt like i had connected with Lacy enough to know that if she could've she would've hired me right on the spot. too bad i have to go back for another interview with Lacy's boss Richard in order to be hired for real.
oh well, that's just another interview i'll ace.
i forgot to mention that this job is in book publishing! my first love! reading! :)
:) today was a great day!
***i've been messing with the layout/colors/everything a little too much for one day, so although i am not totally thrilled with this final result, i think i am going to keep it this way for a while until i can assess it further.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
roomie love
i am no longer living alone in my new city.
Carla has officially moved in and now resides in the room across the hall.
it is SO good to have a reason to stop talking to strangers via personal ads on the net. it is also good because she is pretty much the only person who knows how i've really been doing since the end of my marriage.
Carla and i are in need of a new fun word to describe our townhouse. when Carla used to live with my older sister Melodie, they called their place Graceland because of the huge fireplace that dominated the living room. whenever we come up with the name, i'll be sure to let you know. any ideas?
and now, let the good vibes roomie times begin! :)
******************************************************
also:
exactly how i've been feeling recently about why i went to college:
Carla has officially moved in and now resides in the room across the hall.
it is SO good to have a reason to stop talking to strangers via personal ads on the net. it is also good because she is pretty much the only person who knows how i've really been doing since the end of my marriage.
Carla and i are in need of a new fun word to describe our townhouse. when Carla used to live with my older sister Melodie, they called their place Graceland because of the huge fireplace that dominated the living room. whenever we come up with the name, i'll be sure to let you know. any ideas?
and now, let the good vibes roomie times begin! :)
******************************************************
also:
exactly how i've been feeling recently about why i went to college:
Friday, February 8, 2008
greenlight!
breakthrough!
ladies and gentlemen,
from Maryland, to Ohio, to South Dakota and California, let it be known that today, i landed my first job interview.
and it shall be on Tuesday February 12 at 3:00 pm.
and it shall be good.
----------
YAY! i am so excited. i know it is just my first interview and that i shouldn't let my hopes get too high because the odds of landing a job from my first interview are really not in my favor, but i am still very excited nonetheless! :)
i am mainly excited because it is the job that i had been contacting since the first week of January and i even went in to meet with the Human Resources lady and then i got no word for 2 weeks. i had been beating myself up, and rethinking my resume and asking myself if i had been too aggressive, and on and on, and then today, at 7:45am, i was sent an email saying that they were so sorry they hadn't contacted me sooner because they had been under a hiring freeze. but now they have the greenlight, so they want me to come in on Tuesday!
i totally did a happy dance in my room alone this morning!
and in the car.
and on the phone.
and again in my room.
of course, there will be updates! :)
ladies and gentlemen,
from Maryland, to Ohio, to South Dakota and California, let it be known that today, i landed my first job interview.
and it shall be on Tuesday February 12 at 3:00 pm.
and it shall be good.
----------
YAY! i am so excited. i know it is just my first interview and that i shouldn't let my hopes get too high because the odds of landing a job from my first interview are really not in my favor, but i am still very excited nonetheless! :)
i am mainly excited because it is the job that i had been contacting since the first week of January and i even went in to meet with the Human Resources lady and then i got no word for 2 weeks. i had been beating myself up, and rethinking my resume and asking myself if i had been too aggressive, and on and on, and then today, at 7:45am, i was sent an email saying that they were so sorry they hadn't contacted me sooner because they had been under a hiring freeze. but now they have the greenlight, so they want me to come in on Tuesday!
i totally did a happy dance in my room alone this morning!
and in the car.
and on the phone.
and again in my room.
of course, there will be updates! :)
Monday, February 4, 2008
the wedding, tidbits, part II
almost 2 weeks ago i promised to write more about the wedding, so i wanted to make sure that i wrote some things down before i forget them all.
let's see:
awkward moments:
it seems like the wedding weekend was full of these, being that nearly all of the bride's side had to drive down and stay in the only hotel in the area. and the hotel had promised each room at $60 a night but when the guests starting arriving, was actually charging $70 a night...so that caused some tension especially when the brides' Godmother accidentally let it slip that "the place wasn't even that nice" in front of the bride...
heartfelt toasts:
i thought i'd share the toast that i wrote for Jeannie and Charles, here it is:
Having known Jeannie since we sat beside each other in our 7th grade typing class, our friendship has proven to stand the test of time.
We were there through the ups: proms, road trips, first dates, graduations. and the downs: heartbreaks, car accidents, stress and exams. and through it all, i saw something that i admired in my friend Jeannie, i saw strength, loyalty and courage to face life's challenges.
and even if i am only one day older, i felt like many times that Jeannie was like an older sister to me, helping me as i helped her.
And so, i stand here on Jeannie and Chuck's wedding day, Jeannie looking radiant, and Charles looking like he just won the lottery, and i say "To the happy couple, i wish you the best of luck, abundant love and joy, and most of all, the wisdom to recognize the blessings that God gives you as you walk together down this road called life."
Jeannie, i love you with all of my heart and you know that you are like a sister to me, so Charles, today, you're getting a bonus sister-in-law, me! Cheers to the happy couple!
temper tantrums/mini-meltdowns:
inappropriate gestures:
apparently one of Charles' uncles is totally drunk 100% of the time, so being at a wedding only coincided with his affinity for drunkenness, which meant that while we were out boogie-ing on the dance floor, this RED-faced, totally drunk OLD uncle walks out on the dance floor and stands behind Jeannie and does the thing where it looks like you're doggy-styling someone. totally unnecessary and totally gross!
European kiss-kissing with a beautiful Portuguese man:
Jeannie is Portuguese, and Jeannie has family that is Portuguese, and these family members include one such fine young gentleman who, upon his departure, grabbed my face and gave me 2 European style kisses on the cheeks. seeing as to how this was the first time a man besides Seth or my Dad had touched my face in months, i promptly melted into a puddle on the floor.
dancing until my feet cramped:
i danced like it was going out of style. i did them all: the Cha Cha Slide, The Charleston, The Electric Slide, and yes, even the YMCA. Why? because at my own wedding i was semi-disappointed when no one danced, and because i was in the wedding, wearing a special green dress (awful alterations and all), i got my butt out there and made some memories!
and my feet definitely cramped up and my toes felt like they were stuck together for a large portion of the 8 hour car ride home. :)
let's see:
awkward moments:
it seems like the wedding weekend was full of these, being that nearly all of the bride's side had to drive down and stay in the only hotel in the area. and the hotel had promised each room at $60 a night but when the guests starting arriving, was actually charging $70 a night...so that caused some tension especially when the brides' Godmother accidentally let it slip that "the place wasn't even that nice" in front of the bride...
heartfelt toasts:
i thought i'd share the toast that i wrote for Jeannie and Charles, here it is:
Having known Jeannie since we sat beside each other in our 7th grade typing class, our friendship has proven to stand the test of time.
We were there through the ups: proms, road trips, first dates, graduations. and the downs: heartbreaks, car accidents, stress and exams. and through it all, i saw something that i admired in my friend Jeannie, i saw strength, loyalty and courage to face life's challenges.
and even if i am only one day older, i felt like many times that Jeannie was like an older sister to me, helping me as i helped her.
And so, i stand here on Jeannie and Chuck's wedding day, Jeannie looking radiant, and Charles looking like he just won the lottery, and i say "To the happy couple, i wish you the best of luck, abundant love and joy, and most of all, the wisdom to recognize the blessings that God gives you as you walk together down this road called life."
Jeannie, i love you with all of my heart and you know that you are like a sister to me, so Charles, today, you're getting a bonus sister-in-law, me! Cheers to the happy couple!
temper tantrums/mini-meltdowns:
i can sum this up by saying only a few things,as i stood there, hearing Jeannie's mother actually call her daughter a bitch in such a matter-of-fact way on her wedding day, i just thought, thank GOD she is not my mother.
1-the bride didn't want any help getting into her dress until she realize that it is hard to get into a dress all alone,
2-we were running 35 minutes late for pictures (the wedding went on time, but the pictures were a little cramped for time),
3-as i tried to help her get the back of her dress laced up, i pinched her skin (unknowingly) into the dress and it really really hurt her before i realized it and let it go,
4-being thoroughly pinched made her a little wound up and she wanted me to let the thing go for a second so she could breathe, but when her mom stepped in and tried to help, she got really mad and was like"just take the dress off!!!",5-her mother says to this: "Jeannie, you don't have to be such a bitch",
6-Jeannie flies out of the room, down the back hallway and into the tiny bathroom and locks the door behind her,
7-i follow close behind,
8-Jeannie's mom follows behind me, her grandmother behind her, and her sister behind her grandmother,
9-gay makeup guy and hair-do lady stand in the living room looking wild-eyed,
10-as we crowd around the bathroom door, Jeannie says for everyone to GO AWAY,
11-i calmly tell her that we have to continue lacing her up if we are going to be on time,
12-the door cracks open, you can tell she's crying, she says "ONLY YOU" and reaches out and grabs my hands and yanks me into the tiny bathroom,
13-i hug her and tell her that it is alright and that everything is going just fine,
14-she tells me she loves me and that she is so glad i am there for her,
15-the dress gets on, it looks great, we touch up the makeup, the wedding is on!
inappropriate gestures:
apparently one of Charles' uncles is totally drunk 100% of the time, so being at a wedding only coincided with his affinity for drunkenness, which meant that while we were out boogie-ing on the dance floor, this RED-faced, totally drunk OLD uncle walks out on the dance floor and stands behind Jeannie and does the thing where it looks like you're doggy-styling someone. totally unnecessary and totally gross!
European kiss-kissing with a beautiful Portuguese man:
Jeannie is Portuguese, and Jeannie has family that is Portuguese, and these family members include one such fine young gentleman who, upon his departure, grabbed my face and gave me 2 European style kisses on the cheeks. seeing as to how this was the first time a man besides Seth or my Dad had touched my face in months, i promptly melted into a puddle on the floor.
dancing until my feet cramped:
i danced like it was going out of style. i did them all: the Cha Cha Slide, The Charleston, The Electric Slide, and yes, even the YMCA. Why? because at my own wedding i was semi-disappointed when no one danced, and because i was in the wedding, wearing a special green dress (awful alterations and all), i got my butt out there and made some memories!
and my feet definitely cramped up and my toes felt like they were stuck together for a large portion of the 8 hour car ride home. :)
Saturday, February 2, 2008
enjoy the highlights of the pick-me-up part 1
here are some of the best parts of the best responses that i got for my ad, you should really take the time to read them all, it was redemption:
Hey there,
First and foremost I am sorry about the way he treated you, I am almost positive you deserved better anyways. You sound very beautiful and I would be honored to take you for a long walk on a moonlit beach after picking you up for a candle light dinner and just have some conversation about who we are, where we going and just try to put a smile on that beautiful face of yours. By the way....Cheer-up, you never know what tomorrow might bring.
I too am just out of a very long relationship and your posting caught my eye and interest.
You sound like your looking for something that I want to give. I will hold the door and be romantic.
whats up girl I just got out of a relationship and am not looking for any thing serious just someone fun to have a good time with I'm a little on the wild side and looking for the same. I look good and am a gentlemen at heart and i guarantee i will take care of you.
Would you be open to someone older, gentler and kinder?
I was taught well how to treat someone. Opening the door is just one. Making sure you get inside safe if I dropped you off at your house could count too. No one does that.
I just saw you ad wanted to tell you that YES, there are indeed real, sincere gentlemen out there and I am one of them. I am a year separated now and feel exactly like you do that the EX doesn't know what she had with me (even though she did trade up finacially when she left), and I feel the same sense of loneliness that I would love to get rid of.
Hey there friend. That's the thing about jumping in the deep end - it
takes a while to come up for air when you decide to let go of the
weight that was sinkin' ya. I had an ex who definitely didn't know what
she gave up, but I learned to look at it as this: We were great, and
that's good, but we tend to move up in this world, so the reason we're
not together anymore is because we both deserve someone extraordinary.
You'll get that extraordinary someone. Don't even worry about it
To cheer you up, I'd simply make you laugh just to put a smile on your face in hopes that it would make you forget about the past and think about whats now.
I am truely one of the last of the good guys and out of a lousy relationship. Looking for a great person with a lot to offer, as I do and willing to give.
I would love to have a chance at restoring your optimism in relationships and love. I am just out of a bad relationship myself where my romantics were not appreciated.
okay, i think i should stop here b/c i know that is already pretty lengthy.... what did you think? besides the grammar and spelling, they were all so very sweet!
Hey there,
First and foremost I am sorry about the way he treated you, I am almost positive you deserved better anyways. You sound very beautiful and I would be honored to take you for a long walk on a moonlit beach after picking you up for a candle light dinner and just have some conversation about who we are, where we going and just try to put a smile on that beautiful face of yours. By the way....Cheer-up, you never know what tomorrow might bring.
I too am just out of a very long relationship and your posting caught my eye and interest.
You sound like your looking for something that I want to give. I will hold the door and be romantic.
whats up girl I just got out of a relationship and am not looking for any thing serious just someone fun to have a good time with I'm a little on the wild side and looking for the same. I look good and am a gentlemen at heart and i guarantee i will take care of you.
Would you be open to someone older, gentler and kinder?
I was taught well how to treat someone. Opening the door is just one. Making sure you get inside safe if I dropped you off at your house could count too. No one does that.
I just saw you ad wanted to tell you that YES, there are indeed real, sincere gentlemen out there and I am one of them. I am a year separated now and feel exactly like you do that the EX doesn't know what she had with me (even though she did trade up finacially when she left), and I feel the same sense of loneliness that I would love to get rid of.
Hey there friend. That's the thing about jumping in the deep end - it
takes a while to come up for air when you decide to let go of the
weight that was sinkin' ya. I had an ex who definitely didn't know what
she gave up, but I learned to look at it as this: We were great, and
that's good, but we tend to move up in this world, so the reason we're
not together anymore is because we both deserve someone extraordinary.
You'll get that extraordinary someone. Don't even worry about it
To cheer you up, I'd simply make you laugh just to put a smile on your face in hopes that it would make you forget about the past and think about whats now.
I am truely one of the last of the good guys and out of a lousy relationship. Looking for a great person with a lot to offer, as I do and willing to give.
I would love to have a chance at restoring your optimism in relationships and love. I am just out of a bad relationship myself where my romantics were not appreciated.
okay, i think i should stop here b/c i know that is already pretty lengthy.... what did you think? besides the grammar and spelling, they were all so very sweet!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
something i like
i ran across this at wish jar and i loved it, so i wanted to share it. it just seemed like a lovely way to notice the things around you.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
tagged
i got tagged by Two Date Diva and Princess B to reveal a bit more about myself so while i am still gathering my thoughts about the wedding weekend, i thought i'd go ahead and reveal more about myself.
The rules for this particular game:
-Link to the person who tagged you.
-Post the rules on your blog.
-Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
-Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
-Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. i stopped capitalizing my name when i was in the 10 grade, i never capitalize it. ever. this also carried into un-capitalizing "I" when i write about myself. i did it to be humble, now i do it because i don't like the way capital letters loom over the other letters, like they're Godzilla or something.
2. i bought a new Betta fish last week, picked out the prettiest one, because i wanted to get a new one for the new townhome, left for the wedding weekend, Lancelot was dead. me=worst fish Mom ever.
3. i hate bread. i will only eat bread when it is proportionately balanced with other things: a sandwich is okay as long as there is enough meat/lettuce/condiments to take away from the breadiness of the bread. i do not enjoy rolls, biscuits, cornbread, toast, and even, dare i say, cake. sometimes cake can be too bready.
4. someone told me that i look like Anne Frank with blonde hair when i was in the 8th grade, i have never forgotten it. and honestly, i can see it.
5. this is listed on the sidebar, but i really do have a baby tooth that will never fall out. it's my upper-right canine-tooth. there is no permanent tooth there to push it out, so i have a little souvenir from my childhood with me all the time. that is, until i get some damn-good dental insurance so that i can get some porcelain veneers.
6. all the names on this blog have been changed for my own peace-of-mind. i came up with Lisa because i love to watch the Simpsons, and Seth because it was the name of the boy i used to like when i was in 5th grade. i hope that this doesn't mean you won't read my blog anymore, but i had to change all the names so that i could write freely and without feeling like i had to hold-back. no one i actually know has been given the link to my "secret" blog, except Carla. she reads it.
i'm tagging:
no one for now.
i have to think about who hasn't been tagged, and who i want to tag!
The rules for this particular game:
-Link to the person who tagged you.
-Post the rules on your blog.
-Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
-Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
-Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. i stopped capitalizing my name when i was in the 10 grade, i never capitalize it. ever. this also carried into un-capitalizing "I" when i write about myself. i did it to be humble, now i do it because i don't like the way capital letters loom over the other letters, like they're Godzilla or something.
2. i bought a new Betta fish last week, picked out the prettiest one, because i wanted to get a new one for the new townhome, left for the wedding weekend, Lancelot was dead. me=worst fish Mom ever.
3. i hate bread. i will only eat bread when it is proportionately balanced with other things: a sandwich is okay as long as there is enough meat/lettuce/condiments to take away from the breadiness of the bread. i do not enjoy rolls, biscuits, cornbread, toast, and even, dare i say, cake. sometimes cake can be too bready.
4. someone told me that i look like Anne Frank with blonde hair when i was in the 8th grade, i have never forgotten it. and honestly, i can see it.
5. this is listed on the sidebar, but i really do have a baby tooth that will never fall out. it's my upper-right canine-tooth. there is no permanent tooth there to push it out, so i have a little souvenir from my childhood with me all the time. that is, until i get some damn-good dental insurance so that i can get some porcelain veneers.
6. all the names on this blog have been changed for my own peace-of-mind. i came up with Lisa because i love to watch the Simpsons, and Seth because it was the name of the boy i used to like when i was in 5th grade. i hope that this doesn't mean you won't read my blog anymore, but i had to change all the names so that i could write freely and without feeling like i had to hold-back. no one i actually know has been given the link to my "secret" blog, except Carla. she reads it.
i'm tagging:
no one for now.
i have to think about who hasn't been tagged, and who i want to tag!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
T-minus
T-minus 2 days and counting, and i will no longer be living with my mother and/or grandfather.
okay.
just so that you might be able to grasp even the slightest clue of what i have had to endure for the last 2 months i'm going to give you the basics.
1-my grandfather is 85 years old, hard of hearing, and crazy. i call him Pop, his wife, my most wonderful grandmother died in 1998. i miss my grandmother, she is probably 90% of why i am so awesome. i will try to tell you more about her in another post.
2-my mother and father are getting a divorce (they have yet to file because they are waiting to settle their debt with the IRS. this is just the tip of their iceberg.)
3-my mother lives with my Pop, who is not her father, but my Dad's father. (my mom's father died in 2005).
4-yes, that means that my mom lives with her soon-to-be-ex-father-in-law.
5-my father lives 2 hours away from here.
6-my father owns his own business, and my mother has worked with/for him for 20 years, and so they still run the business even though they are getting divorced.
7-my Pop is dating my grandmother from my mother's side.
let me clarify: my dad's dad is dating my mom's mom.
8-yes if they got married my parents would be step-brother and step-sister as well as ex-husband and ex-wife. and believe me, we were all like, WHA? but then we realized that they've known each other for over 20 years, they have 3 grandchildren in common, and they really just seek companionship for yard-saling and senior-citizen buffets.
9-no, we do not live in West Virginia.
10-my Pop collects useless things, like owl paraphanelia and holiday ties from yard sales.
11-my mother collects anything and everything that she sees that is remotely on sale in any store and she visits many stores very often.
12-my mother, my grandfather, and myself are all pack-rats.
13-my mother and i are not the most organized people in the world, but my mother is by-far the messier.
14-living with Pop has made him resentful of my mother. (mainly because she makes a mess and leaves him to clean it)
15-living with Pop has made my mother resentful of him. (mainly because he cleans the messes she makes but then yells at her about it [it should be noted that he is not yelling because he's mad, he just yells to talk, because he's losing his hearing so bad. don't get me started on how loud he talks so that he can hear everything on his cell phone.]
16-living with the 2 of them makes me want to pull my hair out and scream until they stop talking or go to bed.
17-these are the reasons why i find reasons to stay at Carla's house as many nights as possible during the week.
18-these are the reasons why i am excited to move out of this crazy house.
19-OH, and my mother hates her mom, and i hate my grandma as well, and she visits often because she is dating my grandfather. (hate is a strong word, but it's the only way to describe it sometimes because she is downright rude most of the time and careless in her word-choice)
20-when my parent's divorce goes through, my mom will have to move in with my grandmother and my grandfather is going to sell his wood-paneled, plaster-walled, sliding wooden doors, tiny-ass-room house to "mexicans".
did i mention that my Pop had quit smoking for like 15 years, and has recently taken it up again because "he's too old to care"? or that Pop has prostate cancer and is taking birth control pills for it? or that he'll smoke in his room even though the rules are that he has to smoke outside. he'll light it up in his room and expect us not to smell the cigarette-air wofting about the house. it's like he's a teenager!
yes, i believe that we could make a great case-study for Dr. Phil.
wait, where was i going?
oh yeah.
in writing this post it just changed over from Sunday to Monday b/c it was almost midnight when i started posting, and now, even though this blog won't reflect it, it is 12:18 AM on Monday morning, meaning:
it is now T-minus 1 day and counting.
can't wait!
okay.
just so that you might be able to grasp even the slightest clue of what i have had to endure for the last 2 months i'm going to give you the basics.
1-my grandfather is 85 years old, hard of hearing, and crazy. i call him Pop, his wife, my most wonderful grandmother died in 1998. i miss my grandmother, she is probably 90% of why i am so awesome. i will try to tell you more about her in another post.
2-my mother and father are getting a divorce (they have yet to file because they are waiting to settle their debt with the IRS. this is just the tip of their iceberg.)
3-my mother lives with my Pop, who is not her father, but my Dad's father. (my mom's father died in 2005).
4-yes, that means that my mom lives with her soon-to-be-ex-father-in-law.
5-my father lives 2 hours away from here.
6-my father owns his own business, and my mother has worked with/for him for 20 years, and so they still run the business even though they are getting divorced.
7-my Pop is dating my grandmother from my mother's side.
let me clarify: my dad's dad is dating my mom's mom.
8-yes if they got married my parents would be step-brother and step-sister as well as ex-husband and ex-wife. and believe me, we were all like, WHA? but then we realized that they've known each other for over 20 years, they have 3 grandchildren in common, and they really just seek companionship for yard-saling and senior-citizen buffets.
9-no, we do not live in West Virginia.
10-my Pop collects useless things, like owl paraphanelia and holiday ties from yard sales.
11-my mother collects anything and everything that she sees that is remotely on sale in any store and she visits many stores very often.
12-my mother, my grandfather, and myself are all pack-rats.
13-my mother and i are not the most organized people in the world, but my mother is by-far the messier.
14-living with Pop has made him resentful of my mother. (mainly because she makes a mess and leaves him to clean it)
15-living with Pop has made my mother resentful of him. (mainly because he cleans the messes she makes but then yells at her about it [it should be noted that he is not yelling because he's mad, he just yells to talk, because he's losing his hearing so bad. don't get me started on how loud he talks so that he can hear everything on his cell phone.]
16-living with the 2 of them makes me want to pull my hair out and scream until they stop talking or go to bed.
17-these are the reasons why i find reasons to stay at Carla's house as many nights as possible during the week.
18-these are the reasons why i am excited to move out of this crazy house.
19-OH, and my mother hates her mom, and i hate my grandma as well, and she visits often because she is dating my grandfather. (hate is a strong word, but it's the only way to describe it sometimes because she is downright rude most of the time and careless in her word-choice)
20-when my parent's divorce goes through, my mom will have to move in with my grandmother and my grandfather is going to sell his wood-paneled, plaster-walled, sliding wooden doors, tiny-ass-room house to "mexicans".
did i mention that my Pop had quit smoking for like 15 years, and has recently taken it up again because "he's too old to care"? or that Pop has prostate cancer and is taking birth control pills for it? or that he'll smoke in his room even though the rules are that he has to smoke outside. he'll light it up in his room and expect us not to smell the cigarette-air wofting about the house. it's like he's a teenager!
yes, i believe that we could make a great case-study for Dr. Phil.
wait, where was i going?
oh yeah.
in writing this post it just changed over from Sunday to Monday b/c it was almost midnight when i started posting, and now, even though this blog won't reflect it, it is 12:18 AM on Monday morning, meaning:
it is now T-minus 1 day and counting.
can't wait!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
it's contagious
watch out.
apparently divorces are contagious!
well, okay i'm totally joking but tonight i am babysitting and when i showed up, the mom was having a little wine (you know, before she gets in her car to drive across town), and we were talking about my move and trying to find a job, and she says, oh-so-casually, "I'm going to be needing a new job here soon. I think in about a year I'm going to tell their dad [points to the kids sitting at the dinner table] that he can just stay in Florida and that we don't need him. He came up for Christmas and he's practically a stranger."
i'm kind of stunned by her candidness and i was just like, "Whoa, really?"
and she dumps out the rest of her wine in the sink and says "Yep. I just have to make sure we're going to make it financially without him."
Oh.
oh, if that's all, then yeah, dump that wine down the sink and go out bowling with friends.
no biggie.
i guess i just didn't realize that someone would say these things right in front of two children, who are in the first and second grade! i mean, these aren't babies! they have got to understand what this is going to mean for them!
okay. well, i just had to share. i'm probably going to blog again soon, i can feel it.
apparently divorces are contagious!
well, okay i'm totally joking but tonight i am babysitting and when i showed up, the mom was having a little wine (you know, before she gets in her car to drive across town), and we were talking about my move and trying to find a job, and she says, oh-so-casually, "I'm going to be needing a new job here soon. I think in about a year I'm going to tell their dad [points to the kids sitting at the dinner table] that he can just stay in Florida and that we don't need him. He came up for Christmas and he's practically a stranger."
i'm kind of stunned by her candidness and i was just like, "Whoa, really?"
and she dumps out the rest of her wine in the sink and says "Yep. I just have to make sure we're going to make it financially without him."
Oh.
oh, if that's all, then yeah, dump that wine down the sink and go out bowling with friends.
no biggie.
i guess i just didn't realize that someone would say these things right in front of two children, who are in the first and second grade! i mean, these aren't babies! they have got to understand what this is going to mean for them!
okay. well, i just had to share. i'm probably going to blog again soon, i can feel it.
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