clearly, i have an undying affection for books, as i have aptly named my own blog after the way that my life has crept along, book by book.
over the holidays while i worked in a mainstream bookstore, i spent some of my off-time and breaks looking over the section with the title "Divorce", in the lifestyles section near "Death" and "Homosexuality" (i have no idea why they were all grouped together), but as i looked over the shelves, i noticed that most of the books were aimed towards a different divorced woman than myself.
they were geared for women with children, older women, women who cheated, women who were cheated on, or the legal proceedings and psychological tolls of dealing with the loss of a spouse after a lengthy marriage.
where were the books for the:
childless
young
short marriages?
i never found what i wanted on the shelves at the bookstore, i guess there isn't yet a wide-spread market for women [or men] in this status. but i did find what i wanted when i went home and googling until i hit a title that looked like it was just what i was looking for:
Not Your Mother's Divorce
by Kay Moffett and Sarah Touborg
i wrote it down in my little notebook [all great writer's carry around a notebook for jotting things, too bad mine isn't always for brilliant writing ideas, and it's more so for lists of things i need to remember]...
and i forgot about it.
until about a week ago, when i was flipping through my little notebook and saw the title. i went to my local library's website (Lavar Burton would be so proud of me!) and i found it and put a request on it. i picked it up this morning and devoured the first chapter.
i will be sharing my own insights on the book, if you can get your hands on a copy, we could do an online bookclub! so far, i find myself nodding along, agreeing on everything i read, my eyes welling up with tears as i read the chapter titles:
1-Where Did Our Love Go?
2-Suddenly Single
3-"There's Something I Need To Tell You" Sharing the news, and getting the support you need from friends, family and work.
4-Losing a Bed, a Bank Account, and a Roommate Physical and Financial Separation
5-Untying the Knot The Legal Process
6-In the Company of a Vivid Ghost Encounters with Your Ex
7-Here Comes the Divorcee Single in Society
8-The Dating Scene-Take Two
9-Retying the Knot-or Not
10-When Life Hands You Limes, Make Mojitos
already, i want to skip ahead and read Chapter 3 right away....but i'm finishing up Chapter 1....the rest will come in time.
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Friday, June 20, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
not down, just out
it has been a long time since i sat down to write in this blog, a lot of things have happened:
1- Seth officially filed our unmarried papers. He sent them to me in the mail, and regardless of what the movies [Sweet Home Alabama] lead you to believe, there are no little tabs telling you where to sign, and when you leave the initial paperwork up to the un-husband, he will have to remember all the basics about your wedding day and it will only go to show that he did not do any of the planning otherwise he would have gotten the church's address right AND the county of the marriage license right too. i had to fix these errors, FLAG them and initial them and talk to him about how he "oops" it up.
2-as i signed those papers, those glorious papers, i made copies for my own files and i was in my cubicle at work, thinking to myself, "Wow. That makes it official." and usually at my desk i listen to Pandora Radio and i keep it on upbeat music or folksy stuff, stuff that i can listen to while not losing my focus. But this day, i had turned it off for some reason and the music from my neighbor's cubicle was floating over. and it was no coincidence that this is what i heard:
it was monumental. i felt like it was the perfect music for the mood that i was in, and my neighbor from whose cubicle it was emanating, had been a music major in college and told me that the name of the song was Carmina Burana. so, i Googled it and got a translation:
O Fortune,
like the moon
with its changing phases,
you are ever growing
and waning;
hateful life
first oppresses
and then soothes
as fancy takes it;
Poverty
and power
it melts them like ice.
Fate - monstrous
and empty,
you whirling wheel,
you are malevolent,
well-being is vain
and always fades to nothing.
Shadowed
and veiled
you plague me too;
now through the game
I bring my bare back
to your villainy.
When health
and virtue
are against me,
are only pain
and exhaustion,
forever in this vale of tears.
So at this hour
without delay
pluck the vibrating strings;
since Fate
strikes down the string man,
everyone weep with me!
and when i read those words, i reflected on my marriage and i felt the feelings of worthlessness and unloveability flood over me and i folded those official papers and i shoved them into the envelope with Seth's lawyer's name on it and i stuck a stamp on it and dropped it into the mail.
not anymore.
one step closer, one official step closer to being officially unmarried.
1- Seth officially filed our unmarried papers. He sent them to me in the mail, and regardless of what the movies [Sweet Home Alabama] lead you to believe, there are no little tabs telling you where to sign, and when you leave the initial paperwork up to the un-husband, he will have to remember all the basics about your wedding day and it will only go to show that he did not do any of the planning otherwise he would have gotten the church's address right AND the county of the marriage license right too. i had to fix these errors, FLAG them and initial them and talk to him about how he "oops" it up.
2-as i signed those papers, those glorious papers, i made copies for my own files and i was in my cubicle at work, thinking to myself, "Wow. That makes it official." and usually at my desk i listen to Pandora Radio and i keep it on upbeat music or folksy stuff, stuff that i can listen to while not losing my focus. But this day, i had turned it off for some reason and the music from my neighbor's cubicle was floating over. and it was no coincidence that this is what i heard:
it was monumental. i felt like it was the perfect music for the mood that i was in, and my neighbor from whose cubicle it was emanating, had been a music major in college and told me that the name of the song was Carmina Burana. so, i Googled it and got a translation:
O Fortune,
like the moon
with its changing phases,
you are ever growing
and waning;
hateful life
first oppresses
and then soothes
as fancy takes it;
Poverty
and power
it melts them like ice.
Fate - monstrous
and empty,
you whirling wheel,
you are malevolent,
well-being is vain
and always fades to nothing.
Shadowed
and veiled
you plague me too;
now through the game
I bring my bare back
to your villainy.
When health
and virtue
are against me,
are only pain
and exhaustion,
forever in this vale of tears.
So at this hour
without delay
pluck the vibrating strings;
since Fate
strikes down the string man,
everyone weep with me!
and when i read those words, i reflected on my marriage and i felt the feelings of worthlessness and unloveability flood over me and i folded those official papers and i shoved them into the envelope with Seth's lawyer's name on it and i stuck a stamp on it and dropped it into the mail.
not anymore.
one step closer, one official step closer to being officially unmarried.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
ovarian cysts and lack of sleep=exhausted
after a few weeks of being in on-again/off-again agony, Carla went to the Emergency Room yesterday, i joined her after i got off from work, and it turns out, she was in excruciating pain because she has 2 large ovarian cysts.
crazy huh? yeah. the weirdest part is that even though they said that they'll have to operate in order to help them go away, they discharged her last night (Tuesday) and told her to come back on Friday for the operation. her question, and mine too, was mainly, what did they expect her to do all day Wednesday and Thursday?
she is literally in constant pain, and the pain medicine doesn't really cut it, and she can't really sleep or lay down.
it's crazy, and we don't know how serious it is yet, but nonetheless it's scary. scary scary scary.
on top of that, my new job has been overwhelming, but in a good way.
there is an upside and a downside to the new job:
-upside-
money, feeling more secure, less time to sit and dwell on my unmarried-ness.
-downside-
not a morning person, people at work are nice but no one talks to one another, add in the waitressing job on the side and i'm super tired.
the biggest downside is that i don't have time to blog.......
crazy huh? yeah. the weirdest part is that even though they said that they'll have to operate in order to help them go away, they discharged her last night (Tuesday) and told her to come back on Friday for the operation. her question, and mine too, was mainly, what did they expect her to do all day Wednesday and Thursday?
she is literally in constant pain, and the pain medicine doesn't really cut it, and she can't really sleep or lay down.
it's crazy, and we don't know how serious it is yet, but nonetheless it's scary. scary scary scary.
on top of that, my new job has been overwhelming, but in a good way.
there is an upside and a downside to the new job:
-upside-
money, feeling more secure, less time to sit and dwell on my unmarried-ness.
-downside-
not a morning person, people at work are nice but no one talks to one another, add in the waitressing job on the side and i'm super tired.
the biggest downside is that i don't have time to blog.......
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
under construction
i was in desperate need of a 3 column lay-out, but it seems that i lost a few widgets in the meantime....
anyhoo, think of me from 2:45-5:00 EST. i can't imagine that my interview will last that long, but hey, they might just think i am awesome right on the spot and we could go out for dinner! haha! i'm a little delusional.
i will post about the interview later today!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
tagged
i got tagged by Two Date Diva and Princess B to reveal a bit more about myself so while i am still gathering my thoughts about the wedding weekend, i thought i'd go ahead and reveal more about myself.
The rules for this particular game:
-Link to the person who tagged you.
-Post the rules on your blog.
-Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
-Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
-Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. i stopped capitalizing my name when i was in the 10 grade, i never capitalize it. ever. this also carried into un-capitalizing "I" when i write about myself. i did it to be humble, now i do it because i don't like the way capital letters loom over the other letters, like they're Godzilla or something.
2. i bought a new Betta fish last week, picked out the prettiest one, because i wanted to get a new one for the new townhome, left for the wedding weekend, Lancelot was dead. me=worst fish Mom ever.
3. i hate bread. i will only eat bread when it is proportionately balanced with other things: a sandwich is okay as long as there is enough meat/lettuce/condiments to take away from the breadiness of the bread. i do not enjoy rolls, biscuits, cornbread, toast, and even, dare i say, cake. sometimes cake can be too bready.
4. someone told me that i look like Anne Frank with blonde hair when i was in the 8th grade, i have never forgotten it. and honestly, i can see it.
5. this is listed on the sidebar, but i really do have a baby tooth that will never fall out. it's my upper-right canine-tooth. there is no permanent tooth there to push it out, so i have a little souvenir from my childhood with me all the time. that is, until i get some damn-good dental insurance so that i can get some porcelain veneers.
6. all the names on this blog have been changed for my own peace-of-mind. i came up with Lisa because i love to watch the Simpsons, and Seth because it was the name of the boy i used to like when i was in 5th grade. i hope that this doesn't mean you won't read my blog anymore, but i had to change all the names so that i could write freely and without feeling like i had to hold-back. no one i actually know has been given the link to my "secret" blog, except Carla. she reads it.
i'm tagging:
no one for now.
i have to think about who hasn't been tagged, and who i want to tag!
The rules for this particular game:
-Link to the person who tagged you.
-Post the rules on your blog.
-Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
-Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
-Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1. i stopped capitalizing my name when i was in the 10 grade, i never capitalize it. ever. this also carried into un-capitalizing "I" when i write about myself. i did it to be humble, now i do it because i don't like the way capital letters loom over the other letters, like they're Godzilla or something.
2. i bought a new Betta fish last week, picked out the prettiest one, because i wanted to get a new one for the new townhome, left for the wedding weekend, Lancelot was dead. me=worst fish Mom ever.
3. i hate bread. i will only eat bread when it is proportionately balanced with other things: a sandwich is okay as long as there is enough meat/lettuce/condiments to take away from the breadiness of the bread. i do not enjoy rolls, biscuits, cornbread, toast, and even, dare i say, cake. sometimes cake can be too bready.
4. someone told me that i look like Anne Frank with blonde hair when i was in the 8th grade, i have never forgotten it. and honestly, i can see it.
5. this is listed on the sidebar, but i really do have a baby tooth that will never fall out. it's my upper-right canine-tooth. there is no permanent tooth there to push it out, so i have a little souvenir from my childhood with me all the time. that is, until i get some damn-good dental insurance so that i can get some porcelain veneers.
6. all the names on this blog have been changed for my own peace-of-mind. i came up with Lisa because i love to watch the Simpsons, and Seth because it was the name of the boy i used to like when i was in 5th grade. i hope that this doesn't mean you won't read my blog anymore, but i had to change all the names so that i could write freely and without feeling like i had to hold-back. no one i actually know has been given the link to my "secret" blog, except Carla. she reads it.
i'm tagging:
no one for now.
i have to think about who hasn't been tagged, and who i want to tag!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
it's contagious
watch out.
apparently divorces are contagious!
well, okay i'm totally joking but tonight i am babysitting and when i showed up, the mom was having a little wine (you know, before she gets in her car to drive across town), and we were talking about my move and trying to find a job, and she says, oh-so-casually, "I'm going to be needing a new job here soon. I think in about a year I'm going to tell their dad [points to the kids sitting at the dinner table] that he can just stay in Florida and that we don't need him. He came up for Christmas and he's practically a stranger."
i'm kind of stunned by her candidness and i was just like, "Whoa, really?"
and she dumps out the rest of her wine in the sink and says "Yep. I just have to make sure we're going to make it financially without him."
Oh.
oh, if that's all, then yeah, dump that wine down the sink and go out bowling with friends.
no biggie.
i guess i just didn't realize that someone would say these things right in front of two children, who are in the first and second grade! i mean, these aren't babies! they have got to understand what this is going to mean for them!
okay. well, i just had to share. i'm probably going to blog again soon, i can feel it.
apparently divorces are contagious!
well, okay i'm totally joking but tonight i am babysitting and when i showed up, the mom was having a little wine (you know, before she gets in her car to drive across town), and we were talking about my move and trying to find a job, and she says, oh-so-casually, "I'm going to be needing a new job here soon. I think in about a year I'm going to tell their dad [points to the kids sitting at the dinner table] that he can just stay in Florida and that we don't need him. He came up for Christmas and he's practically a stranger."
i'm kind of stunned by her candidness and i was just like, "Whoa, really?"
and she dumps out the rest of her wine in the sink and says "Yep. I just have to make sure we're going to make it financially without him."
Oh.
oh, if that's all, then yeah, dump that wine down the sink and go out bowling with friends.
no biggie.
i guess i just didn't realize that someone would say these things right in front of two children, who are in the first and second grade! i mean, these aren't babies! they have got to understand what this is going to mean for them!
okay. well, i just had to share. i'm probably going to blog again soon, i can feel it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
