new book, new insight.

clearly, i have an undying affection for books, as i have aptly named my own blog after the way that my life has crept along, book by book.

over the holidays while i worked in a mainstream bookstore, i spent some of my off-time and breaks looking over the section with the title "Divorce", in the lifestyles section near "Death" and "Homosexuality" (i have no idea why they were all grouped together), but as i looked over the shelves, i noticed that most of the books were aimed towards a different divorced woman than myself.

they were geared for women with children, older women, women who cheated, women who were cheated on, or the legal proceedings and psychological tolls of dealing with the loss of a spouse after a lengthy marriage.

where were the books for the:

childless
young
short marriages?

i never found what i wanted on the shelves at the bookstore, i guess there isn't yet a wide-spread market for women [or men] in this status. but i did find what i wanted when i went home and googling until i hit a title that looked like it was just what i was looking for:

Not Your Mother's Divorce
by Kay Moffett and Sarah Touborg

i wrote it down in my little notebook [all great writer's carry around a notebook for jotting things, too bad mine isn't always for brilliant writing ideas, and it's more so for lists of things i need to remember]...

and i forgot about it.

until about a week ago, when i was flipping through my little notebook and saw the title. i went to my local library's website (Lavar Burton would be so proud of me!) and i found it and put a request on it. i picked it up this morning and devoured the first chapter.

i will be sharing my own insights on the book, if you can get your hands on a copy, we could do an online bookclub! so far, i find myself nodding along, agreeing on everything i read, my eyes welling up with tears as i read the chapter titles:

1-Where Did Our Love Go?
2-Suddenly Single
3-"There's Something I Need To Tell You" Sharing the news, and getting the support you need from friends, family and work.
4-Losing a Bed, a Bank Account, and a Roommate Physical and Financial Separation
5-Untying the Knot The Legal Process
6-In the Company of a Vivid Ghost Encounters with Your Ex
7-Here Comes the Divorcee Single in Society
8-The Dating Scene-Take Two
9-Retying the Knot-or Not
10-When Life Hands You Limes, Make Mojitos



already, i want to skip ahead and read Chapter 3 right away....but i'm finishing up Chapter 1....the rest will come in time.

edna

today i went to my local Barnes and Noble and bought myself a copy of The Awakening. i read it in college, and i loved it then. but now, rereading the back-cover, i think i'll fall in love with it all over again.

"tells the story of Edna Pontellier, a young wife and mother. While on vacation, Edna meets the son of a Louisiana resort owner, with whom she gradually falls in love. As she pulls away from her husband, Edna begins to develop a sense of herself as a whole person, with unique wants, interests, and desires. Determined to control her own life, she flouts convention by moving out of her husband's house, having an adulterous affair, and becoming an artist."

if Kate Chopin were alive now, and writing The Awakening all over again, i'd be willing to bet that she'd have more of a dilemma as to whether she could just give Edna the divorce or not. who cares about having Edna move into her own house, but still depending on her husband, what about letting Edna be truly free to start over. i'm going to restart this novel today, i honestly cannot wait, if you haven't read it before, i'd recommend it.

not to be mean

but this is just one, tiny, insignificant example of why i am glad i was no longer trying to put on a sham marriage. it is a picture of a friend of mine, who i feel like lives in a bubble, and her poor poor husband must have had his manlihood handed over to her when they met in high school. seriously, this guy has no balls (or at least, it is not evident that he does!).

i have tried my best to conceal their identities, but please, just take the time to let this picture soak in.

they have 2 cats and 2 dogs.

there are large, Christmas bows on ALL of the pets.

the pets just want to get the picture over with.

my question is, who took this picture? i don't know, i just don't get it. as i have known this couple for over 4 years now [they've been married for 2 years], i never really felt like they actually knew each other.

anyway. just thought i would share.

maybe i'm having a cynical day because i haven't heard ANYTHING out of ANY of the jobs i have applied for. and now i am out sitting on a limb, all alone, trying to figure out what's next.

OH,
and tonight i have to drive home and get a little sleep before i have to get up at 4 am to get in a car with my friend Jeanne and DRIVE to Florida for her wedding on Sunday.

did i mention that i am her only bridesmaid? did i mention that she has been a TOTAL BRIDEZILLA since the day she got engaged in August?!! did i also mention that i entrusted the hemming of my dress to my mother and thus far, she has done a really shitty job of it..........and now there is no time left to go get professional alterations done.....so.....i'm hoping my mother got my crafty grandmother to help with it. i really don't want to have to wear a dress that looks rough at the hem-line, and i especially don't want to deal with what i know will only be hellfire and brimstone if Jeannie thinks it looks shitty. OH LORD.


so, this weekend, while all of you lovely people are living fun lives full of volleyball classes and date-nights and playing with your beautiful children, i will be traveling in an SUV from North Carolina to Florida, hopefully squeezing in time to blog, read, and ignore the fact that while my marriage may have failed (miserably) i am there to support my friend Jeannie as she starts her own journey into married *bliss*.

i think i am also in charge of writing a toast for the reception (something i have always wanted to do!) here's all that i have come up with so far, especially because i'm in a cynical spell right now:

I could stand up here and go on and on about how long we've known each other and how you have been like a sister to me for so many years, but above all, Jeannie and Charles, i wish for you three things. 1-Best of Luck, 2-Abundant love and joy, and 3-Wisdom to recognize God's blessings in your life together. CHEERS!