let's review:
first boyfriend, the Outcast: dated from March 1999-May 1999 (9th grade!!!). broke up with him b/c he wanted to put his hand up my shirt and he wasn't a Christian (said i was weak because i was a Christian).
singleness: lasted from May to July, approximately 2 months.
second boyfriend, the Jock: dated from July 1999-February 2000. broke up a few days before Valentines. found out he was dating someone new one week later.
singleness: lasted from Feb 2000 to May 2000, approximately 2 months.
third boyfriend, the Heart-Throb: dated from March 2001-March 2002. but we practically dated from May 2000 to April 2002. he was my first real love, but he was too needy, and unfortunately, now he's a tool! why do the good ones go rotten?
singleness: lasted from April 2002 to June 2002, approximately 2 months.
fourth boyfriend, the OverKill Christian: dated from June 2002-September 2002. i knew he was an outspoken conservative Christian when we met, but seriously, you have never seen someone so naive to the real world. broke up with him over dinner in the cafeteria at college.
singleness: lasted from September 2002 to January 2003, approximately 4 months.
fifth boyfriend, i.e. the Unhusband: dated from 2003 to 2005, got engaged, engaged for a year, then married in June 2006. married for a year and 4 months, ended October 2007. total togetherness: 5 years almost.
singleness: lasted from October 2007 to March 2008, approximately 5 months (which was best because i was a MESS)
sixth boyfriend, the Depresso: dated from March 2008 to May 2008. i think he was definitely my "rebound" boyfriend. what was i thinking? i knew nothing about him!
currently single after that lame break-up.
do you notice the pattern that i do? i am usually only single for 2-4 months and then i'm off the market indeterminably. i recognized this pattern and shared my concern with my ever-so-fabulous roommate Carla, and we both think it might be interesting for me to be single for a while, just to see what happens.
i never really thought i was one of those women who "doesn't like to be alone", but looking at that pattern, it makes me feel like a cheesy, overly dependent wuss-woman. i'm kind of excited to see what i can come up with when left to my own devices for more than a few months.........and it's kind of nice to keep my options open for a bit. it doesn't mean i won't enjoy the men that are in my life, but i just won't be tying myself down for a while.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Friday, August 15, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
exploring my options
the guy that i was seeing was really incredible when we met.
Paul was warm and full of compliments and just really a breath of fresh air. he understood my jokes and appreciated my wit and dry sense of humor immediately. i didn't have to dumb down our conversations or use 5th grade friendly vocabulary. he told me i was the most amazing woman he had ever met, and he meant it.
we connected on our life experiences, middle kids, unappreciated talents, rough relationships (he was with a girl for 2 years, they were engaged and she broke it off at Christmas), etc. i felt embraced and accepted and, yes, even loved by Paul.
but Paul hit some bumps along the road in the last few months and seems to have gone down in a downward spiral, i think that he is really sinking into depression, and he doesn't seem to have any optimism about his future.
i am probably one of the most patient, and overly optimistic people that you'll ever know. really, i truly truly believe that things will always get better, there will always be a reason to smile, you may have to search for it but there is always a silver lining. always.
even though Paul was really going through a hard spot, i tried to show him the good things, i tried to show him that things would and will get better one day, but really all he responded with was "no they won't, my life sucks, God is punishing me." etc. it was UNBEARABLE.
i found myself carrying our relationship. i found myself calling him only to get voicemail, texting only to get no response, messaging him to get no answer. if and when he did answer he was automatically irritated with me. and even though i adored him in the beginning, he was proving to be a very lousy companion.
so this past Thursday night, i got off of work and called him to see if we could hang out. i got no response. i texted, i got no response. my instincts kicked in and i drove to his work, he wasn't there. so yes, i spent my gas driving all the way to his house to see if he was home. he was.
i didn't go knock on the door. i didn't want to come across as the scary stalkerish type, but i wanted to talk to him and i was going to talk to him one way or another.
so i texted "I'm outside your place, in my car" and i waited.
ten minutes later i got a phone call, it was Paul and he was irritated "You're outside my place right now?"
"Yep."
"Why?"
"Because i wanted to talk to you and you weren't answering your phone."
at this point he has come outside and we're off the phone and his face is reading "you're a crazy person".
that's when i said it was over. i yelled at him, i cried at him, i gave him a hug, i let him hold me, but i pushed him away. he said that he was sorry he couldn't give me what i need or deserve right now, and i told him that i was sorry too. i told him that if the Paul i met 3 months ago ever comes back then he needs to call me, but that i couldn't stay and wait on it.
i said i am a quality woman and that i need something where i feel accepted and loved because i was married to a shitty relationship where i carried it and it was back-breaking and i wised up and got out of it before i was completely broken and that i was NOT going to do that again.
he cried.
he broke down and i saw a glimpse of the original Paul, and he apologized more sincerely than before and he just said "i'm sorry that i can't be the guy you need and that i have hurt you because you are right you're an amazing woman and you deserve better than me. you are the most beautiful and wonderful woman i have ever dated and i was lucky that you ever considered me."
when i asked if he'd lost interest or if i had done something wrong, he said that i had been "perfect" and hadn't done anything that would warrant being treated so shitty. he was right. i mean, i'm a few shades shy of perfect but i did treat him really really well and he was lucky to date me.
i cried practically the whole way home, and cried myself to sleep. but i rested well knowing that i wasn't sticking with something unhealthy because i was scared i won't find something else.
actually, this time, i plan on letting something find me. i will be exploring my options.
Paul was warm and full of compliments and just really a breath of fresh air. he understood my jokes and appreciated my wit and dry sense of humor immediately. i didn't have to dumb down our conversations or use 5th grade friendly vocabulary. he told me i was the most amazing woman he had ever met, and he meant it.
we connected on our life experiences, middle kids, unappreciated talents, rough relationships (he was with a girl for 2 years, they were engaged and she broke it off at Christmas), etc. i felt embraced and accepted and, yes, even loved by Paul.
but Paul hit some bumps along the road in the last few months and seems to have gone down in a downward spiral, i think that he is really sinking into depression, and he doesn't seem to have any optimism about his future.
i am probably one of the most patient, and overly optimistic people that you'll ever know. really, i truly truly believe that things will always get better, there will always be a reason to smile, you may have to search for it but there is always a silver lining. always.
even though Paul was really going through a hard spot, i tried to show him the good things, i tried to show him that things would and will get better one day, but really all he responded with was "no they won't, my life sucks, God is punishing me." etc. it was UNBEARABLE.
i found myself carrying our relationship. i found myself calling him only to get voicemail, texting only to get no response, messaging him to get no answer. if and when he did answer he was automatically irritated with me. and even though i adored him in the beginning, he was proving to be a very lousy companion.
so this past Thursday night, i got off of work and called him to see if we could hang out. i got no response. i texted, i got no response. my instincts kicked in and i drove to his work, he wasn't there. so yes, i spent my gas driving all the way to his house to see if he was home. he was.
i didn't go knock on the door. i didn't want to come across as the scary stalkerish type, but i wanted to talk to him and i was going to talk to him one way or another.
so i texted "I'm outside your place, in my car" and i waited.
ten minutes later i got a phone call, it was Paul and he was irritated "You're outside my place right now?"
"Yep."
"Why?"
"Because i wanted to talk to you and you weren't answering your phone."
at this point he has come outside and we're off the phone and his face is reading "you're a crazy person".
that's when i said it was over. i yelled at him, i cried at him, i gave him a hug, i let him hold me, but i pushed him away. he said that he was sorry he couldn't give me what i need or deserve right now, and i told him that i was sorry too. i told him that if the Paul i met 3 months ago ever comes back then he needs to call me, but that i couldn't stay and wait on it.
i said i am a quality woman and that i need something where i feel accepted and loved because i was married to a shitty relationship where i carried it and it was back-breaking and i wised up and got out of it before i was completely broken and that i was NOT going to do that again.
he cried.
he broke down and i saw a glimpse of the original Paul, and he apologized more sincerely than before and he just said "i'm sorry that i can't be the guy you need and that i have hurt you because you are right you're an amazing woman and you deserve better than me. you are the most beautiful and wonderful woman i have ever dated and i was lucky that you ever considered me."
when i asked if he'd lost interest or if i had done something wrong, he said that i had been "perfect" and hadn't done anything that would warrant being treated so shitty. he was right. i mean, i'm a few shades shy of perfect but i did treat him really really well and he was lucky to date me.
i cried practically the whole way home, and cried myself to sleep. but i rested well knowing that i wasn't sticking with something unhealthy because i was scared i won't find something else.
actually, this time, i plan on letting something find me. i will be exploring my options.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
have i mentioned?
i don't think that i have,
but, i probably should mention,
that i have been seeing someone for a little over a month....
and so far,
it has been wonderful and exactly what i need.
i know you have thoughts:
go.
but, i probably should mention,
that i have been seeing someone for a little over a month....
and so far,
it has been wonderful and exactly what i need.
i know you have thoughts:
go.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
latin lovers
i am super-sick today [i have been in bed, all day] and i realized i hadn't shared my Valentines surprisingly good news: i went salsa-dancing on Valentine's night.
i have never been salsa dancing before, not to mention, that i have never felt really all that comfortable dancing at all. as a 5'7" pale white girl, i've always felt like
1-i make dumb faces when i dance
2-i don't know what to do with my hands (like Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights)
3-i feel like when a man dances with me he can see how inexperienced and nervous i am.
well, i met a friend through a website, and yes, that sounds lame, but he's just a friend, and for the sake of my blog, i want to call him the Workaholic. seriously, this guy works all the time. but he also enjoys getting out and going to bars and other social-esque places downtown.
so because i don't really know anyone here in town besides my roommate, i told him that yes, i would go with him to a club downtown on Valentine's night and go salsa dancing with some other girls he knew. i picked him up, and he helped me navigate to the nightclub, and when we got inside the place was packed.
there were tons of guys there, and tons of girls too, but really, there were like groups of guys there. it was a little unnerving at first because i didn't know what i was doing, but at the same time, it was awesome to feel like there were men who had their eye on me. the Workaholic didn't really dance with me, which suited me fine, because although i think that he could be crush-worthy, he doesn't take any relationships seriously and he is too preoccupied with work.
i learned the basics from a really nice guy named Aaron who helped me get them down-pat. after i felt comfortable, some of the girls that had met us there took my hands and drug me out to the dance floor. i tried to let loose, but it was really hard at first. i've never really done the club-scene, never done the bar scene, i don't drink at all, so i can't foresee letting all my inhibitions go.....never done........and then it hit me:
i was like, i'm doing new things now, i'm perfectly capable of being good at things if i give them a shot. so i tried not to think about how tall i was in the heels i was wearing, or how white my arms looked in the air when i had them up during my dancing, and i tried to cut loose and have a good time.
by the time that my friends were tired of dancing to a particularly long song, that lasted for over 10 minutes, i got a bottle of water from behind the bar, and downed half of it, and by the time i was done with it, i'd gotten a tap on my shoulder by a really gorgeous latin guy with gel in his hair and a grin on his face. he asked me if i wanted to dance with him, i nodded.
he took my hand and led me to the dancefloor, with me glancing over my shoulder and all of my friends looking at me with goofy smiles on their faces and 2 thumbs-ups from the Workaholic. i danced with him, his name was Alex, he asked me why i was alone if i was such a beautiful woman. i told him that i had no idea why. and he held me around the waist, twirled me to the music, pulled me close, whispered in my ear, and when the song was over, i gracefully retreated back to my friends, ignoring my pounding heart and the tingles that i had all-over my body. it was amazing to feel wanted again, even if it was just for a song.
i have never been salsa dancing before, not to mention, that i have never felt really all that comfortable dancing at all. as a 5'7" pale white girl, i've always felt like
1-i make dumb faces when i dance
2-i don't know what to do with my hands (like Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights)
3-i feel like when a man dances with me he can see how inexperienced and nervous i am.
well, i met a friend through a website, and yes, that sounds lame, but he's just a friend, and for the sake of my blog, i want to call him the Workaholic. seriously, this guy works all the time. but he also enjoys getting out and going to bars and other social-esque places downtown.
so because i don't really know anyone here in town besides my roommate, i told him that yes, i would go with him to a club downtown on Valentine's night and go salsa dancing with some other girls he knew. i picked him up, and he helped me navigate to the nightclub, and when we got inside the place was packed.
there were tons of guys there, and tons of girls too, but really, there were like groups of guys there. it was a little unnerving at first because i didn't know what i was doing, but at the same time, it was awesome to feel like there were men who had their eye on me. the Workaholic didn't really dance with me, which suited me fine, because although i think that he could be crush-worthy, he doesn't take any relationships seriously and he is too preoccupied with work.
i learned the basics from a really nice guy named Aaron who helped me get them down-pat. after i felt comfortable, some of the girls that had met us there took my hands and drug me out to the dance floor. i tried to let loose, but it was really hard at first. i've never really done the club-scene, never done the bar scene, i don't drink at all, so i can't foresee letting all my inhibitions go.....never done........and then it hit me:
i was like, i'm doing new things now, i'm perfectly capable of being good at things if i give them a shot. so i tried not to think about how tall i was in the heels i was wearing, or how white my arms looked in the air when i had them up during my dancing, and i tried to cut loose and have a good time.
by the time that my friends were tired of dancing to a particularly long song, that lasted for over 10 minutes, i got a bottle of water from behind the bar, and downed half of it, and by the time i was done with it, i'd gotten a tap on my shoulder by a really gorgeous latin guy with gel in his hair and a grin on his face. he asked me if i wanted to dance with him, i nodded.
he took my hand and led me to the dancefloor, with me glancing over my shoulder and all of my friends looking at me with goofy smiles on their faces and 2 thumbs-ups from the Workaholic. i danced with him, his name was Alex, he asked me why i was alone if i was such a beautiful woman. i told him that i had no idea why. and he held me around the waist, twirled me to the music, pulled me close, whispered in my ear, and when the song was over, i gracefully retreated back to my friends, ignoring my pounding heart and the tingles that i had all-over my body. it was amazing to feel wanted again, even if it was just for a song.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
worst-case scenario
i ran across this website after reading an article in TIME magazine, :
http://smashingkatie.com
basically, it's a boutique website full of things that are novelties for people who have recently broken up or gotten unmarried. while i think that having the breakup kit or a knife set shaped like my ex would be fun, there is only one thing i think that i'd actually enjoy having from the site:
details:
The authors of the best-selling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook are back—and they've brought a date. Whatever your own dating nightmares are, take it from the professionals, things can get worse. Just in time for Valentine's Day, here are dozens of scenarios covering every phase of the romantic—or not so romantic—turn of events. Learn how to remove stubborn articles of clothing, slip away from a blind date, and get rid of unsightly stains. Discover the secrets of dealing with a bad kisser and of surviving a meeting with your date's parents. Hands-on, step-by-step illustrated instructions help guide you through these and many more perils d'amor. Tasteful and useful, and with an appendix of great pickup lines, breakup lines, and all-purpose excuses, this is the book you need when you wake up next to someone whose name you can't remember.
anyway, i just thought that it was funny and wanted to share!
:)
have a super weekend!
http://smashingkatie.com
basically, it's a boutique website full of things that are novelties for people who have recently broken up or gotten unmarried. while i think that having the breakup kit or a knife set shaped like my ex would be fun, there is only one thing i think that i'd actually enjoy having from the site:
details:The authors of the best-selling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook are back—and they've brought a date. Whatever your own dating nightmares are, take it from the professionals, things can get worse. Just in time for Valentine's Day, here are dozens of scenarios covering every phase of the romantic—or not so romantic—turn of events. Learn how to remove stubborn articles of clothing, slip away from a blind date, and get rid of unsightly stains. Discover the secrets of dealing with a bad kisser and of surviving a meeting with your date's parents. Hands-on, step-by-step illustrated instructions help guide you through these and many more perils d'amor. Tasteful and useful, and with an appendix of great pickup lines, breakup lines, and all-purpose excuses, this is the book you need when you wake up next to someone whose name you can't remember.
anyway, i just thought that it was funny and wanted to share!
:)
have a super weekend!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
valentines schmalentines
as Valentines Day is here, i'd be the first to sign up and say that i am not going to get bogged down by relating this holiday for hearts and lovers and roses and chocolates with love.
there are so many kinds of love in this world, and while romantic love is one of them, there are so many other loves that are worth celebrating.
i try to show the love for all of its many forms in my life:
i have love for blue skies and hawks flying overhead.
i have love for earthworms that have been displaced by rainfall.
i have love for a good song blasting in my car with the windows down.
i have love for hugging an old friend or shaking hands with a new friend.
i have love for an unexpected, unsolicited phone-call from someone.
i have love for warm brownies made my other mother, Deborah.
i have love for everyone in my life, and for those that i haven't yet met.
i have love for my family and my friends.
i have love for myself.
and yes, it is strange to be single on Valentine's Day for the first time in over 6 years, and yes, it is hard to say out loud that i am legally separated and on my way to being unmarried by the time i am 24 years old. but you know, that is the best thing about love.
love is all around us, all the time, in all shapes and sizes. love is perfect in every form. love is what keeps us going when we want to give up and it is what picks us up when we have fallen down.
whether you have a special someone or not on Feb. 14 is not what love is all about.
love is more than that.
love is the tie that binds.
love is connection.
the challenge is to embrace it in all of its forms.
there are so many kinds of love in this world, and while romantic love is one of them, there are so many other loves that are worth celebrating.
i try to show the love for all of its many forms in my life:
i have love for blue skies and hawks flying overhead.
i have love for earthworms that have been displaced by rainfall.
i have love for a good song blasting in my car with the windows down.
i have love for hugging an old friend or shaking hands with a new friend.
i have love for an unexpected, unsolicited phone-call from someone.
i have love for warm brownies made my other mother, Deborah.
i have love for everyone in my life, and for those that i haven't yet met.
i have love for my family and my friends.
i have love for myself.
and yes, it is strange to be single on Valentine's Day for the first time in over 6 years, and yes, it is hard to say out loud that i am legally separated and on my way to being unmarried by the time i am 24 years old. but you know, that is the best thing about love.
love is all around us, all the time, in all shapes and sizes. love is perfect in every form. love is what keeps us going when we want to give up and it is what picks us up when we have fallen down.
whether you have a special someone or not on Feb. 14 is not what love is all about.
love is more than that.
love is the tie that binds.
love is connection.
the challenge is to embrace it in all of its forms.
Friday, December 28, 2007
geologist strikes out
thank goodness i wore my "please don't hit on me" ring to work two nights ago.
and why is that, you may ask....
because the geologist guy came in, that's why.
here's the scenario:
me: working with Hector and Angela behind the cash registers.
the geologist: comes in and browses the Manga section.
me: Oh-my-gosh, the geologist is here.
Hector: NO WAY!!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!
Angela: Oh man, hey, well, if he comes up to the register to buy anything, then I'll make sure he comes to my register.
Hector: but if he comes to my register, then I'm going to look busy so you'll have to help him.
me: eeeeeeeeeek.
the geologist: selects books, makes his way to the register.
me: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
Angela: has a customer.
me: freaking out, trying to make myself look busy, restocked the membership-cards, as slowly as possible.
Hector: senses my oncoming freak-out and helps the geologist (thank you Hector)
Hector and the geologist: have a lame conversation about bitterness, i think. i couldn't really hear anything above the blood rushing to my face.
me: eeeeeeeeeeek.
Hector: alright, have a nice evening, "I love rocks" [under his breath].
me: trying to look busy still.
the geologist: [walks straight up to the counter where i'm standing.] "Lisa, right?"
me: Yes.
the geologist: I just noticed your left hand, are you married?
me: Yes. (i am not lying, i am still married, technically)
the geologist: Oh wow, well your husband is a very lucky man.
me: [lying] Yes, well he thinks so.
the geologist: [nods his head, walks away slowly]
me: totally blushing, "have a good night", thank you Jesus for me wearing my "don't hit on me ring".
Angela: you are totally blushing.
Hector: who decides to study rocks?
and why is that, you may ask....
because the geologist guy came in, that's why.
here's the scenario:
me: working with Hector and Angela behind the cash registers.
the geologist: comes in and browses the Manga section.
me: Oh-my-gosh, the geologist is here.
Hector: NO WAY!!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!
Angela: Oh man, hey, well, if he comes up to the register to buy anything, then I'll make sure he comes to my register.
Hector: but if he comes to my register, then I'm going to look busy so you'll have to help him.
me: eeeeeeeeeek.
the geologist: selects books, makes his way to the register.
me: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
Angela: has a customer.
me: freaking out, trying to make myself look busy, restocked the membership-cards, as slowly as possible.
Hector: senses my oncoming freak-out and helps the geologist (thank you Hector)
Hector and the geologist: have a lame conversation about bitterness, i think. i couldn't really hear anything above the blood rushing to my face.
me: eeeeeeeeeeek.
Hector: alright, have a nice evening, "I love rocks" [under his breath].
me: trying to look busy still.
the geologist: [walks straight up to the counter where i'm standing.] "Lisa, right?"
me: Yes.
the geologist: I just noticed your left hand, are you married?
me: Yes. (i am not lying, i am still married, technically)
the geologist: Oh wow, well your husband is a very lucky man.
me: [lying] Yes, well he thinks so.
the geologist: [nods his head, walks away slowly]
me: totally blushing, "have a good night", thank you Jesus for me wearing my "don't hit on me ring".
Angela: you are totally blushing.
Hector: who decides to study rocks?
Thursday, December 27, 2007
unmarried
i like the word unmarried better than i like the word divorced.
so from now on, i am going to try my best never to say that stupid d-word.
so from now on, i am going to try my best never to say that stupid d-word.
Monday, December 24, 2007
rocking out
when i was at work today, one of my co-workers, Hector, said "Someone came in looking for you yesterday after you left, it was a guy". i said, "Oh really, who was it? What did he look like?" Hector said "Some guy who looked like Silent Bob from Jay and Silent Bob, and he said he was a geologist and that you were very nice. And when he asked if you were working, we told him that you had already left but that you would be working today. And then we realized that we should've probably not have told him because maybe you didn't know him and maybe he was stalking you, so I really hope he shows up so we can see what he does." me, the whole time: blank faced. "What?! Did he look like if Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons was a real guy and maybe he looked like he lives in his mom's basement and enjoys Dungeons and Dragons?" Hector, the whole time: smug faced and laughing. "HAHA, yep, that was totally the guy, do you think he likes you? I hope he comes back while I am still here working."
Great. just what i need, a work stalker.
i mean, he was a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but he's totally not my type and i don't know if i can handle any more small-talk with him about rocks, gift cards, or the holidays.
i'm trying my very best to be flattered and encouraged that someone came looking for me, but it is also a little creepy and unnerving.
okay, please, look forward to a quality holiday post from me on Christmas, as i am sure i will have plenty of thoughts to reflect upon.
love love, spread the love.
Great. just what i need, a work stalker.
i mean, he was a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but he's totally not my type and i don't know if i can handle any more small-talk with him about rocks, gift cards, or the holidays.
i'm trying my very best to be flattered and encouraged that someone came looking for me, but it is also a little creepy and unnerving.
okay, please, look forward to a quality holiday post from me on Christmas, as i am sure i will have plenty of thoughts to reflect upon.
love love, spread the love.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
p.s. i love you
so, i just saw p.s. i love you with 4 of my friends, (yes, all girls), and it was amazing.
more-so than other chick-flicks i liked how raw this movie was.
i want to write so much about it, SO so much, but i am in a pinch and do not have a lot of time to blog tonight.
but while i watched the movie, i decided at least 2 things:
1-i would consider it exotic to talk to, much less flirt with, much less date a guy with an accent, esp. anything Irish or British.
2-i really really really wish i could have a camera taping me every time i hug a guy from now on, because i have decided that i want to be with a man who closes his eyes every time he hugs me. it's like he's savoring you, it's like he is smelling and embracing and caressing and enveloping you in a hug, and if he closes his eyes, it's like he's sealing himself off to the outside world just to enjoy being in your arms, in your presence, in your grasp.
oh, what i would give to have a man who closes his eyes when he holds me.
more-so than other chick-flicks i liked how raw this movie was.
i want to write so much about it, SO so much, but i am in a pinch and do not have a lot of time to blog tonight.
but while i watched the movie, i decided at least 2 things:
1-i would consider it exotic to talk to, much less flirt with, much less date a guy with an accent, esp. anything Irish or British.
2-i really really really wish i could have a camera taping me every time i hug a guy from now on, because i have decided that i want to be with a man who closes his eyes every time he hugs me. it's like he's savoring you, it's like he is smelling and embracing and caressing and enveloping you in a hug, and if he closes his eyes, it's like he's sealing himself off to the outside world just to enjoy being in your arms, in your presence, in your grasp.
oh, what i would give to have a man who closes his eyes when he holds me.
Monday, December 17, 2007
is it possible?
i don't want to sound pathetic or weird or pitiful in anyway about this, but right now, ALL i want to do is watch something, anything, whether it is a movie or a trashy MTV show or even an entire DVD box set of a t.v. show i haven't seen,
the main part of this longing is that i want to sit on the couch with a guy, with his arm around my shoulder.
i cannot get over this, it is all i want to do.
i don't want to do anything more than just snuggle on the couch and sit in the presence of a guy who has his arm around me.
really, this is the only thing i miss about being in a relationship, that and holding hands and having someone in the car to talk to all the time.
i guess i will just have to deal with this urge, mainly because i have zero intentions of dating right now and secondly because i don't really have any guy friends who would probably be willing to sit on a couch with me in their personal space bubble.
is it possible to put up a craigslist ad for a couch-snuggling partner and find someone who is not an incredibly repulsive creep?
okay okay, i'm not going to put up an ad really, but i just miss the personal space interaction from being in a relationship. and yes, i also know it is a little weird, but i don't miss kissing or sex or hugs nearly as much as i miss snuggling. :(
the main part of this longing is that i want to sit on the couch with a guy, with his arm around my shoulder.
i cannot get over this, it is all i want to do.
i don't want to do anything more than just snuggle on the couch and sit in the presence of a guy who has his arm around me.
really, this is the only thing i miss about being in a relationship, that and holding hands and having someone in the car to talk to all the time.
i guess i will just have to deal with this urge, mainly because i have zero intentions of dating right now and secondly because i don't really have any guy friends who would probably be willing to sit on a couch with me in their personal space bubble.
is it possible to put up a craigslist ad for a couch-snuggling partner and find someone who is not an incredibly repulsive creep?
okay okay, i'm not going to put up an ad really, but i just miss the personal space interaction from being in a relationship. and yes, i also know it is a little weird, but i don't miss kissing or sex or hugs nearly as much as i miss snuggling. :(
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