T-minus

T-minus 2 days and counting, and i will no longer be living with my mother and/or grandfather.

okay.

just so that you might be able to grasp even the slightest clue of what i have had to endure for the last 2 months i'm going to give you the basics.

1-my grandfather is 85 years old, hard of hearing, and crazy. i call him Pop, his wife, my most wonderful grandmother died in 1998. i miss my grandmother, she is probably 90% of why i am so awesome. i will try to tell you more about her in another post.

2-my mother and father are getting a divorce (they have yet to file because they are waiting to settle their debt with the IRS. this is just the tip of their iceberg.)

3-my mother lives with my Pop, who is not her father, but my Dad's father. (my mom's father died in 2005).

4-yes, that means that my mom lives with her soon-to-be-ex-father-in-law.

5-my father lives 2 hours away from here.

6-my father owns his own business, and my mother has worked with/for him for 20 years, and so they still run the business even though they are getting divorced.

7-my Pop is dating my grandmother from my mother's side.

let me clarify: my dad's dad is dating my mom's mom.

8-yes if they got married my parents would be step-brother and step-sister as well as ex-husband and ex-wife. and believe me, we were all like, WHA? but then we realized that they've known each other for over 20 years, they have 3 grandchildren in common, and they really just seek companionship for yard-saling and senior-citizen buffets.

9-no, we do not live in West Virginia.

10-my Pop collects useless things, like owl paraphanelia and holiday ties from yard sales.

11-my mother collects anything and everything that she sees that is remotely on sale in any store and she visits many stores very often.

12-my mother, my grandfather, and myself are all pack-rats.

13-my mother and i are not the most organized people in the world, but my mother is by-far the messier.

14-living with Pop has made him resentful of my mother. (mainly because she makes a mess and leaves him to clean it)

15-living with Pop has made my mother resentful of him. (mainly because he cleans the messes she makes but then yells at her about it [it should be noted that he is not yelling because he's mad, he just yells to talk, because he's losing his hearing so bad. don't get me started on how loud he talks so that he can hear everything on his cell phone.]

16-living with the 2 of them makes me want to pull my hair out and scream until they stop talking or go to bed.

17-these are the reasons why i find reasons to stay at Carla's house as many nights as possible during the week.

18-these are the reasons why i am excited to move out of this crazy house.

19-OH, and my mother hates her mom, and i hate my grandma as well, and she visits often because she is dating my grandfather. (hate is a strong word, but it's the only way to describe it sometimes because she is downright rude most of the time and careless in her word-choice)

20-when my parent's divorce goes through, my mom will have to move in with my grandmother and my grandfather is going to sell his wood-paneled, plaster-walled, sliding wooden doors, tiny-ass-room house to "mexicans".

did i mention that my Pop had quit smoking for like 15 years, and has recently taken it up again because "he's too old to care"? or that Pop has prostate cancer and is taking birth control pills for it? or that he'll smoke in his room even though the rules are that he has to smoke outside. he'll light it up in his room and expect us not to smell the cigarette-air wofting about the house. it's like he's a teenager!

yes, i believe that we could make a great case-study for Dr. Phil.

wait, where was i going?

oh yeah.

in writing this post it just changed over from Sunday to Monday b/c it was almost midnight when i started posting, and now, even though this blog won't reflect it, it is 12:18 AM on Monday morning, meaning:

it is now T-minus 1 day and counting.

can't wait!