moving in less than a week

so, that's it. i'm moving out of my mom's house (WOO HOO) in less than a week (EEEEK!)

um. okay, in my head January 15 sounded so good when it was further away.

but now that it is here, i am excited about it. it is going to be great. i'll live with Carla, i'll get myself a kitten, and i will be on my own two feet. we found a place to live about a week and a half ago, which is exciting because it is perfect and it is totally affordable too!

here's the thing, i'm going to be moving on the 15th, then i will be going to Florida for my friend Jeannie's wedding on Jan 18 and i won't be back until the 21st. so, as of the 21st i will be an official resident of Wake County, North Carolina.

i spend the better part of my day today calling about jobs and worrying about jobs. i know that something is going to pan out, it's just a matter of being patient.

today, while i was freaking out about this job situation, you know, joblessness, i just stood still and thought to myself

what is God trying to teach me through this frustrating period in my life? what lessons are there to be learned during my current state of impatience and blind-faith? i can feel deep down inside myself that leaving Seth was the best decision hard decision that i have ever made, and it happened at the same time as Carla getting her big job and needing to move, so the decision to move with Carla seemed the best decision. be alone, or live with the most fabulous friend i've had in a very long time.....hm....not too hard to decide, but the next part of the equation is to find work so that i can afford to live with Carla. so....this is the next step. it is not like you can snap your fingers and instantly find a full-time job, but you can't sit on your butt and expect a full-time job to come to you. so, what can i learn from this limbo? i can learn that things happen in God's timing, i have to believe that good things will happen in order for myself to be ready when those good things do happen.

so, that's just a peek into my brain from today. i've been thinking thinking thinking. non-stop. and praying too. right before my marriage fell apart, i had gotten to where i wasn't even on speaking terms with God. and i mean that, because honestly, i just felt like He wasn't listening. but now that i am alone and i have a lot of time to think and reflect on things, i have found that He was listening but i wasn't paying attention. on New Years Eve after i went to be at about 1 am, i was lying there, and i prayed my first heartfelt prayer of 2008, and before i wrapped it up i promised that even though this was my first heartfelt prayer of the year, it would definitely not be my last.

so far, He's listening and i'm trying my best to pay attention.