why on earth.....

why on earth am i awake at 2 am?

let's see:

about the time i was deciding whether the timing was right to leave Seth (and i found that there is no right timing) was the same time that my friend Jeannie picked out the dresses for her wedding.

it should be noted that the Maid of Honor is her younger sister, and that there is only one other bridesmaid: me.

she picked out your basic satin-luscious pearly green color and got it in a halter top style from David's Bridal. we* decided that the length was weird and that we would get it hemmed to just below the kneecap.

*we=Bridezilla.

and like clockwork, every week since NOVEMBER 1 i have gotten at least one email that says "hey, have you gotten your dress altered yet? the wedding is only ____ weeks away and we* need to make sure it's done and ready for the wedding by January 18."

EVERY WEEK.

and me, being in the middle of a major-life-change and almost completely BROKE, i turned to my mother about 3 weeks into December and i ask her if she could alter the dress for me. she said she could. so i didn't worry about it.

my mom sews for a living, but sews cushions and pillows for furniture, not dresses. but when i did get married she altered my dress and a few million other times, she's come through for me on the alterations so that i don't have to pay and i don't have to bother with seamstresses.

fast forward to a week ago, i tried on the dress, Mom looks at it and says "yeah, easy as pie".

fast forward to Monday, four days ago. i ask Mom if she will please get started on the dress because i was going to be moving on Tuesday and back on Thursday and then on the road by Friday morning so really, the dress needed to be done by Thursday.

i got home tonight around 9:30.

i ask Mom what the dress looks like, and she looked at me like Bashful the Dwarf, but maybe a little more like Ashamed the Dwarf (if there were one), and says "I tried my best."

i surveyed the dress and pronounced the fact that if Jeannie were to see this dress she would say that it looked shitty and that i should've gotten it professionally done and now i have officially ruined her wedding.

this did not go over well for my Mom, and while i didn't mean to hurt her feelings, she has also really put me in a bind. the wedding is Sunday, it is basically FRIDAY. so....i wish she would've called me earlier and told me that she didn't think she was qualified to finish hemming the dress, so that i could've possibly arranged to find an alterations seamstress in Florida before i actually get there.

so then i just decided to bite the bullet and deal with Bridezilla first thing when i see her at 4:45 AM, and i was just going to say "i'm sorry, there are no excuses, this will not be a big deal, i can find someone to do the work." and i tried to fall asleep so that i could get some rest before driving to Florida in the morning, but then, as i lay there, i imagined a variety of scenarios snowballing from this revelation in the morning:

scenario 1: Crying

she bursts into tears because she has asked me repeatedly how the alterations were coming along and i lied to her the entire time, saying "everything's great, the dress looks great!" she looks at me and says "NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!!!! BAAAHHHHHHHHHWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

scenario 2: Silent Treatment

this is probably the more realistic scenario as she is prone to pouting and blocking people out until she suddenly snaps back into being a normal person. this presents a horrific car-ride situation for the 7 hour trip to Florida, am i wrong?

and then there's the worst scenario [and least likely to happen]

scenario 3: Bitch Fight

this then presented the imagined scenario of an honest conversation ending in a fight where she says "You ruined my wedding" and i say "You know, there is a REASON why you only have 1 bridesmaid! it is WORK being your friend!" then of course, i am no longer invited to the wedding and stranded in Florida with no ride home.

so, because i couldn't sleep knowing that the dress was hanging in here looking shitty, i got up, tried a few different sewing techniques and fixed the dress by hand.

when i say fixed i mean i did whatever i thought would look the least shitty. clearly, it no longer looks new from David's Bridal and YES it does look a little shitty, but i am proud of it, and hopefully, she won't even care/notice (although something tells me she will). but here's my gameplan: play it cool, act like it looks AWESOME, and if she says anything more than once, then i will ask her if she really wants me to get another seamstress to look at it. this way, i make it her choice and not mine.

now, maybe i can get an hour and a half of sleep before i have to get up to get in a car and ride to FL with Bridezilla and her man.

g'night!